Just so there is no confusion, Girl Ninja and I wont have a prenuptial agreement. Neither Girl Ninja, or myself, have amassed a great fortune thus we have no need for one. Furthermore, from a purely statistical view, we have a lower probability of divorce. We both share similar spiritual beliefs; neither of our parents, or even grandparents, have been divorced; we did not move in together prior to marriage; and we’ve never participated in “adult” activities together.**
Anywho, Yesterday, I talked about how Girl Ninja and I will operate our financial lives. The idea of a prenuptial agreement was mentioned in the comments section twice so I thought I would share my $0.02 on them today.
If you don’t know what a prenup is, it’s a contract entered into prior to marriage which commonly includes provisions for division of property and spousal support in the event of divorce. They are more common amongst the wealthy. The idea is if Joe, a 50 year old millionaire, marries some 20 year old hottie (and she signs a prenup) she will not have the right to half of his fortune in the event they divorce. It’s basically a contract that prevents, or limits, gold-digging.
I’ve managed to get in to three fights (all with girls) when it comes to talking prenuptial agreements. The conversations usually start something like this…
Someone brings up the idea of a prenup
Me: I don’t think they are that terrible, I could understand why some people would want them.
Random Girl: What? Are you crazy? I would never marry someone if they made me sign a prenup.
Random Girl: Because, like, a prenup totally means that, like, you are counting on getting divorced.
Me: No it doesn’t.
Random Girl: You’re right. It doesn’t. I was silly to think that it did. You are so smart ninja and your biceps look especially strong today.
Okay, that’s not exactly how the conversations go. Typically, the girl usually ends up screaming at me for defending prenups. I’m sitting here wondering if most women think prenups are bad, or if it’s just some freak coincidence that every girl I know hates them.
While I don’t think the majority of marriages pose a need for a prenup, I could definitely understand why some couples would want one. I like to think of them as an insurance policy. You have car insurance right? Do you plan on getting in an accident? Probably not. Similarly, most married couples don’t plan on getting a divorce. The prenup acts an insurance policy in the event someone wants to break things off. Remember, it was a predetermined agreement laying out how your financial assets will be distributed. There is no ability for the woman (or man) to try and suck their spouse dry since the contract already discloses the terms.
Girl Ninja’s stance:
She believes, like most of us probably do, that marriage is a lifetime commitment. She’s particularly fond of the “Til death do you part” aspect. If both people truly mean those words when they marry, there should be no need for a prenup. To her, a prenup implies you are essentially doubting the success of your marriage from day one, and if there is even a slight doubt, you’re not ready to get hitched.
I can’t really fault Girl Ninja for her thought process because she believes in the integrity of a promise, and so do I. I also have to admit, if I was about to marry a femaleionaire (get it, female millionaire) and she wanted me to sign a prenup, I would probably be pretty hurt (or at least offended).
I don’t think there is a winning opinion in this debate, but I sure would LOVE to hear your thoughts…
- What’s your stance on prenups?
- Are there certain circumstances they are okay? Or should they cease to exist?
- If your S.O. asked you to sign one, would you? Or would you be pretty offended?
- Do you have stories about prenups and family or friends?
**Update: It appears that premarital sex and residing with your partner prior to marriage no longer results in a higher probability of divorce compared to those who don’t. Many of you pointed out in the comments below that you no longer thought those stats were relevant, and it turns out you are right. It appears in the 70’s and 80’s those stats were true, but in our current generation that’s no longer the case. I appreciate you all keeping me honest and fact checking my posts. I always strive to post relevant factual content, but sometimes I guess my facts are outdated (I’m not perfect). I have no problem conceding when I am wrong. And on this post, I was wrong. I never intended to pass any judgment on couples that have lived together or had premarital sex, you are your own person and have to do what is right and best for your relationship 🙂 Sorry again