Gentlemen, I have some words of wisdom to share with you: Pick and chose your battles wisely. I am no relationship expert, but I have definitely learned a few things. Particularly, when to wave the white flag and admit defeat.
Getting married is a pretty humbling experience. I am constantly reminded that life is not just about me anymore. I’m learning to be less selfish and more selfless. I am far from a”perfect” fiancé, but I do my part to love Girl Ninja as best I can. Sometimes that requires me to step outside of my comfort zone. The ability to compromise doesn’t always come easy, but it is an essential piece in any healthy relationship.
Here are a few areas were I had to learn to bite my tongue…
Apparently girl ninja is part Asian ’cause she has a strong affinity for china. No, not the country. The dishware. You know, the really expensive plates, bowls, and cups that you only use once a year. I’m willing to bet just about every dude out there (and probably a bunch of you women) don’t understand the concept of having extremely expensive dishes that only get used a handful of times. I’m right there with you. That said, it is extremely important to Girl Ninja that we have a set of china in our future home. Growing up she loved the days that family gathered around the formal dining room table and sat down to the fancy plate-ware (typically holidays and special occassions). To Girl Ninja, china is not just about expensive dishes. It has a much deeper meaning. China to Girl Ninja means enjoying a special meal with those that are most important to her. As silly as I think the expense may be, I can’t argue with the significance. Thus, we registered for this china set….
Our first place.
Yeah I know. I’ve blogged about it many times and I’m sure you are sick of hearing about it, but this is definitely an area where I have to learn to compromise. I’m currently paying 11% of my gross income towards rent each month. I have become so acclimated to minimal rent expenses that the idea of paying more for a place totally freaks me out. Although my cost of living is low for my income, it definitely has its downfalls. It’s not in the safest of locations. It’s pretty outdated. And it gets almost no natural light. It’s a total man cave and Girl Ninja would drop dead if she had to live here. We recently started apartment shopping and have been looking at places that are around 28% of my gross income. With the addition of Girl Ninja’s income it would really be about 21% of our household gross income. It’s nearly double the percentage I’m currently paying, but it’s still a totally reasonable number. If GN is going to feel more safe and comfortable in a place that costs a little more (but is within our budget) then you better believe I’m gonna provide for her.
I know just about every guy out there reading this is shaking his head in agreement with me. What the heck is it about flowers that women love so much? Sure they smell nice, but so do brownies, and at least brownies taste yummy. Okay, maybe they can brighten a place up, but so can a 52″ flat screen TV. For as long as I live, I will never understand why Girl Ninja loves getting flowers as much as she does. She’s messed up in the head, but ya know what? If that’s how she feels loved, then I’m more than happy to drop $10 every now and again to make her day a little brighter. Do I like spending $10 on something that dies a week later? No. Do I like making Girl Ninja happy? Yes. Flowers it is then.
These are just a few of the areas of I’ve been learning to put Girl Ninja’s needs before mine. I’m slowly picking up on the art of compromise, but still have a long way to go. The old saying “Happy wife. Happy life” has never rang more true.
What are some areas of your life that you sacrificed for your partners benefit? Can one of you women please explain to me why you enjoy getting flowers so much? Ever seen a relationship fail due inability to compromise?