Who wants to go a second round of making love with money? I do, I do! If you haven’t read part one, you can check it out here . I wasn’t originally planning on writing a follow up to the first article, but apparently it was a little to “Rated G” for some readers. I was checking which websites have sent traffic my way (like I do every 15 min) and saw that Bad Money Advice was a top referral site yesterday. He reviewed some of the articles that were posted in this weeks carnival of personal finance. He took the time to write a few sentences on my article…
…But I was disappointed by a post entitled “Making love with money is my favorite kind of romance.” I was hoping for something more edgy, possibly with tips on using Craigslist.
My heart sank when I read that. I know that I can’t please everyone that stops by my site, but I’m sure gonna try to. So Mr. BadMoneyAdvice, this article is for you 🙂 Thanks for taking time to include a link to my site and I hope this suffices in the edginess category…
Who remembers the awkward relationships we all had in high school? I know I sure do. Heck some of us are still in awkward relationships. I like to compare my relationship with money to that of friends with benefits (FWB). For those that don’t know what that means, it is basically when two people hook up, but are NOT in a committed relationship. While I don’t support this type of personal relationship, I gotta say it works wonderfully with money.
FWB has to begin with a grounded friendship. Remember it’s friends with benefits, not benefits with friends. How does this translate over to money? It implies that I have to establish healthy financial habits before I can try and cop a feel of my voluptuous cash. I have to be spending less than I make, saving for retirement, and avoid taking on debt. After I have established a solid friendship with my cash flow I can slowly transition in to more intimate territories.
My savings account is much like a woman’s bra. It keeps the “assets” looking nice. But as we all know, “with great boobs finances come great responsibility.” Guys, you remember how nervous you were to unhook a girls bra for the first time? Do you know why you were nervous? I bet it was ’cause you didn’t want to look like a complete D-bag and fumble around and kill the mood. Well, don’t even think about trying to access your savings account until you know exactly what the heck you are doing. Do you got a double clasp savings account, a triple clasp, or is it even one of those ever-so-sneaky front clasp savings? You gotta know all the small details about your account before you can attempt to play with it. I can’t simply pull money out of my savings account with no plan, much like you can’t just stick your hand up a friends shirt and expect her to like it. You gotta caress your savings account each month by throwing in a little contribution…after all, FWB is a two way deal. If you play your cards right, your savings account will love the respect you show it, and will pay you a little “interest.” Don’t think that a woman wouldn’t do the same. If you make them feel respected, they are for more likely to stick around.
Well, that’s about as edgy as I think I can get. I’m a PG-13 kind of guy and have no intentions to flirt with the rated R kind of stuff. I’m sorry if you were hoping for some raunchy, nasty, Dane Cookish analogies, but that’s not how I roll. I play it safe and keep it 5th grade status around these parts. However, I did see a really funny t-shirt the other day. It read “Please tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.” Hahaha…WTF?!
p.s. I have no idea how making love to money and craigslist relate so I couldn’t really tie that in, unless you were thinking I was gonna discuss the “exotic massages” section, I’m gonna have to pass on that one 🙂
p.p.s Today marks my 100th post!!!! WOOHOO!