Seeing that Thanksgiving is just around the corner for us Americans, I figure most bloggers will be writing about things they are thankful for. I already did that last month, so there is no need for me to repeat myself. Instead, I’ll go against the grain, and blog about something I want to punch in the face. This go around, Hipsters are up on the chopping block.
Let’s break this down….
Look. If you have to do the hair-flippy-head-bob more than once every five minutes to keep the hair out of your eyes, I have an easy solution. CUT YOUR FREAKIN’ HAIR! I can’t even pay attention to what you are saying because instead of listening to you, I’m trying to figure out if you are having a mild seizure and need medical assistance. Your hair is not as cool as you think it is.
If your glasses have no lenses in them, you sir/madam are a tool. Those of us with REAL vision issues are offended by your blatant mockery of our impairment. I hate everything about you. EVERYTHING.
If the bottom of your v-neck is parallel to your nipples, I have news for you… YOUR V-NECK IS TOO LOW. I use to think busty women were the only people guilty of over-cleavage-ing society. Sadly, that is no longer the case.
Hey, don’t get me wrong. I love skinny jeans…on Girl Ninja. But male hipsters hear this, if your jeans are so tight I can literally see the outline of your “you know what”, it’s time to get yourself a new pair of pants. I honestly don’t get this trend at all. How do you not feel at least a little silly when you step foot outside? Oh wait, that’s right, your glasses don’t actually help you see. ::facepalm::
Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck are the only two men on earth that have earned the right to rock a mustache. Period.
I can think of at least 78 billion more things that bother me about hipsters including, but not limited to; slouch beanies, scarf wearing when it is 60+ degrees outside, tattoos on your wrists, leather satchels, and the infamous janitor key ring hanging off your belt loop.
In sum, I hate hipsters.