How exciting was yesterday?! Lots of hot comments. I do have to say, I did kind of love the way everyone stood up for me.
Being married to a PF blogger, I understand that our financial life is an open book to all of you. Therefore, our different view on finances will often come up. To get things straight, I didn’t marry myself…and I am so thankful for that. Ninja and I are different people, and we have different views. One viewpoint is not better than the other. Through our differences, I am able to learn so much. This is coming from the girl who only saved after I had boughten my needs/wants for the month. Thanks to Ninja, I learned the importance of paying yourself first…yes, even before shopping. Along with learning new things about PF, I am also challenged – as illustrated by our conversation about the presale. I don’t want to be stubborn, never questioning (or bettering) the way I do things. Ninja challenges me in a usually healthy way.
During our finance fued, my first thoughts were very similar to some of yours:
- I work too
- I have good judgement
- I did fine with money before we got married (I saved myself a very comfy decorating budget the 8 months prior to combining finances )
- I don’t need rules and regulations.
Did you notice how many I’s there are? As we took a break from our discussion (My hair desperately needed to be blow-dried), I had that gentle reminder that it’s not all about me. We got married, and I promised to put the needs of NInja above my own. Helping him provide for our household, helping him handle our finances in a way that it is responsible, and being a steward of all we have been given, is the kind of wife I want to be. Having that realization, subsided all my selfish “I deserve more” thoughts, and allowed me to come to work towards a mutual compromise.
With a better perspective, I could affirm to Ninja that I want him to feel comfortable with my spending. I was able to understand that money spent shopping means money not put in savings. He was able to realize that his initial communication WAS a little overbearing, and he has to be careful with how he talks with me. As we talked it through, we fought for a solution that was less about us as individuals and more about us as a couple.
And did you notice, it got me $100 more in my spending budget!? Yay, for compromise I have one good husband and am so thankful. We have different commitment levels to our savings – so what? We find a way towards a middle ground, we learn a little lesson in selflessness, and we thank the Lord that He is walking with us through it all.
I’m writing all this, and being raw with you, in hopes that you don’t feel sorry for me, or worry about our financial choices. Married 11 months, we are still ironing out details, still learning together, and you, readers, are invited along for the ride
P.S. Nordstrom Pre-Sale Day= AMAZING. I”ll be sharing my finds soon….