Wedding of a lifetime

May 13, 2010 · 28 comments

So most of you know I’m getting married to this sexy little chica I know. Her name is Girl Ninja. She’s my BFF and I’m pretty stoked I tricked her in to marrying me (click here for the story). The big day is now less than 3 months away so I thought I would give you all a little insight in to the wedding process… from a dude’s perspective.

Unlike Girl Ninja, I never really thought about my wedding day. I never cared about my wedding colors. Where I’d be married. What our centerpieces would look like. Or even who I would have in my wedding party. When it came to my wedding day I only dreamed about two things: 1) That my wife would be hot and 2) That my wife would be hot. Lucky for me, both of those wishes will come true :)

Now that we are only a couple months out from Operation Marriage-4-Life, most of “the big stuff” has been planned and let me tell you all something. GETTING MARRIED IS CRAZY EXPENSIVE. Or at least in our case it is. I know many of you PF bloggers are having very modest weddings and I think that’s totally radical, but Girl Ninja’s parents gifted us a huge sum of money and had one requirement: We HAD to spend it on the wedding because that’s what they saved it for.

I asked GN if I could share our wedding budget with you, but she wasn’t super comfortable with that idea (she still thinks this blogging thing is kind of creepy). Although I can’t say what our “wedding” budget is, I got permission to give you the total cost of our marriage (wedding, rehearsal, honeymoon, rings, gifts, etc) and lets just say the number is SHOCKING. Are you ready for this? I don’t think you are. The total cost of this entire marital process is going to be a little more than…. drumroll please…. is the anticipation mounting?…. I hope so…

Did you just poop your pants a little? I do everytime I think about it. Praise the Lord a hefty chunk of this cost is subsidized by the in-laws. I know one thing is for sure. If GN and I were paying the way, that $50,000 would be more like $5,000 or maybe even $50 (Vegas anyone?).

I’m sure I’ll post more of the specifics about our wedding as it approaches, but being that I am a dude, I’m not really good at sharing the “cute” details. I can tell you our wedding colors are navy and champagne. We have lanterns with candles in them as our centerpieces. We plan to have 250 guests in attendance. And I’ve heard through the grape-vine, Girl Ninja looks smokin’ in her wedding dress (she wont let me see it).

I think with enough bullying from you female commenters, GN could be pressured in to writing a guest post about those smaller details . The only thing I pay attention to when it comes to “the big day” is the cost. She’s the one to talk with about what kind of napkin holders we are going to have :)

p.s. here are a few snapshots of our wedding venue…

Oh and here was our save the date I made in photoshop…

Okay, now proceed to bullying girl ninja below…

1 StackingCash

Hey I was the first to comment on that post regarding accepting gifts :) Anyhow, I find it great that your in-laws mega-hooked you up. You better seriously enjoy it and video tape it in 3D or at least in high def. Regarding Ninjette’s feelings towards your blog, I have to side with her. Lately I’ve been wondering if I should be more anonymous or even cut off my comments to PF blogs because for some strange feeling I think it might come back to haunt me in some weird way. I grew up with the internet when only us nice geeks used it. Now I feel the internet is quite dangerous, especially when it comes to those you love. Privacy is precious, don’t take it for granted. Look how those celebs suffer from fame.

2 eemusings

Yep, i choked! But seriously, it’s great that your families are chipping in. Also, navy and champagne sound lovely – classy, classic colours!

3 Louise

Yay! I LOVE weddings. And pf. So combo = awesome. As much as I can appreciate you don’t want to spend all that cash, it’ll only happen once, so make it amazing. You’ll remember this day for the rest of your life and so will many other people…you don’t want to be thinking you wish you’d spent an extra $300 on whatever every time you look at your photos!

Also PLEASE please please can girl ninja tell us more? Thanks.

4 ashley

Ohh what I would with our wedding with 50K! That’s a great gift and I’m super jealous that they are making her spend it on a wedding. I’m pretty excited about our 25K wedding though ;)

And I agree with the above comment, I want details! Cute details!

5 Kams

50K for everything is in range for a city wedding for 250 – everything for my wedding events was around 20K, and we had an open bar, 130 people, and we had it in a small town, so everything is a bit cheaper for weddings, but there are less options. My parents gave us a large cash gift to be used however we choose (for the wedding, but whatever we didn’t spend on the wedding we could keep). It was tempting to do it on the cheap and put the cash towards other useful things, but I’m a girl and it’s my wedding, and regardless of what that cash could have done to pay down my mortgage (the only debt I had at the time), I wouldn’t change it. Oh and a word of advice – when things start to get stressful close to the wedding, don’t refer to it as “Just a party” it doesn’t go over well with us ladies that have thought of this day for a very long time :)
And yes Girl Ninja should give us the details!! Love the colour palette too!

6 Sandy L

You do have a lot of girl readers don’t you? You know, I predict that at some point in the future, you’ll be approached by Vogue or the like to write about “the man’s” perspective on various fluffy topics. You think that would conflict with your PI gig?

I agree with Stacking Cash by the way. The internet is like the wild west right now. Don’t really trust my data floating around.

7 dogatemyfinances

With a budget like that, I only have one strong opinion.

Don’t make those girls buy their own BM dresses. That is crap, and it’s just not fair with a budget this size.

8 asdf

$50,000… wow that’s a lot to spend on a wedding. Mine was around $3.5k, including photos, a 2 night stay at a honeymoon cabin, $300 wedding dress, and a full dinner for all of our guests. Oh well as long as girl ninja is happy with it, and she doesn’t take out a loan to pay for it. Best wishes.

9 Victoria

My first thought was how? Then I read 250 guests. Then I saw the venue photo. And then I twigged that it was dollars, not pounds. Aaaah, suddenly sounds a lot easier!

My wedding colours are also going to be navy and champagne, and that made me go all ‘squueee!’, so here’s a question for Girl Ninja: how many bridesmaids are you having, are they wearing the same dresses, or different? Do you know yet?

My parents have also offered to pay, they didn’t offer a budget at first, but after a bit of back and forth of neither of us trying to name a price before the others, I said we could do it for under £10k, and Dad said they could cover that OK. he also looked a little relieved, so I think he was expecting more!

Another question related to that – my groom-to-be is reluctant to spend our full budget, he’d rather keep the costs much further down because he balks at spending that much money, and doubly so when it belongs to someone else. So Girl Ninja, do you have advice for going between Father and Groom, when one is keen for you to have the wedding of your dreams, and ‘spend spend spend’ all his money, but the other is as a reluctant gift-accepter as boy Ninja, and wants to keep it cheap?

Oops, a bit long – sorry!

10 PunchDebt

Our wedding party is rather large. We have 9 bridesmaids and 9 groomsmen so our head table is going to be freakin’ huge. She does have her bridesmaid dresses. They are pretty casual and cost $60 as she got them on sale from Anthropologie.

I’m gonna make her read this comment though and hopefully she will get back to you on the other stuff!!!

11 Kyle C.

Now that I am back from changing my undergarments…. If they are fronting the cash and made the stipulation I say blow the wad. Just think of the open bar you could have for 50k, I know you don’t care, but your guests might :-). It is 5 times as much as we paid for our wedding but again, it isn’t your money so why do you care how much as long as you stay inside your budget?

12 Jenn @ Paying Myself

1. Dear Girl Ninja: Please share the details!

2. I’m VERY impressed that you know the colours are “navy and champagne”. B would have said “blue and white”. There’s a difference! :-)

13 Larry

Champagne has more bubbles than white.

14 Forest

Awesome stuff Ninja…. 50k is nearly floored me… I can’t imagine that amount of cash for a few weeks but the almost in laws insisted I Guess!

Hope it goes awesome :)

15 Rainy-Day Saver

The venue looks gorgeous, and the color theme is elegant. I hope you both have a wonderful day. Sounds like it really will be the wedding of a lifetime.

For 250 guests and that wedding venue (and I think you mentioned a $4K honeymoon — is that included in the $50K total?), I’d have to say you’re on target. For those of us living near big cities, the costs are astronomical. We hit $30K ourselves, and that’s with me skimping, cutting deals with vendors, getting discounts and a lot of DIY projects (“only” 150 guests and a $3K honeymoon, though).

16 PunchDebt

Yeah that $50K includes all costs associated with getting married (wedding rings, honeymoon, outfits, ceremony/reception, rehearsal dinner, night of hotel, gifts, and everything else).

17 Budgeting in the Fun Stuff

My eyes bugged out at the cost only because I know you want to buy a house and I was thinking “downpayment”. I think I’d have begged on my knees to let me spend 25% on the wedding and 75% on the house…with tears in my eyes…and since I’m a girl…I think I could have pulled it off, lol.

BUT, it does look gorgeous. I’m slightly jealous. I hope you have an awesome day. I just feel really sorry for your frugal side (our wedding was $3000 including everything but the honeymoon and split between both sets of parents and ourselves…the honeymoon was $1200 and half – the plane tickets and hotel – was covered by my in-laws as a wedding present).

Please pass on my well wishes to Girl Ninja!

18 PunchDebt

I didn’t really feel as though I had the right to beg the in-laws to allow us to spend their money on a downpayment and not a wedding. I’m pretty sure that would have been offensive as they specifically earmarked this money for their daughter’s wedding. I do share your sentiment however. If nothing else, I should be thankful for the gift :)

19 Larry

So you don’t have to pay for your own honeymoon too

I agree – $50K is a huge sum – but if the parents are giving you this amount on the understanding that is for your wedding, then you have only one option, and that is to accept the gift as graciously as you can.

20 Budgeting in the Fun Stuff

Oh, I understand. I would have been amazingly thankful too.

I just know that we wanted our wedding to be a close friends and family only thing (inherently cheap usually). Maybe we could have had a destination wedding…used the $50k to get close friends and family on a cruise or something…

Anyway, the pictures look amazing and I hope you two have a fantastic day!

21 Ella

Wow that’s a fancy wedding! We spent about $20k on the wedding alone and another $5k on the honeymoon and I thought that was crazy. But all things considered, I would say don’t worry about the cost and just enjoy the day.

And Girl Ninja, a detailed wedding post would just be awesome! We can’t trust the guys with details like that

22 PunchDebt

I should clarify that $50K is broken up across three different people.

Girl Ninjas parents are paying for the wedding/reception and all that jazz (large chunk of the $50K)

My parents are paying for photography and the rehearsal shenanigans

And Girl Ninja and I are paying for the wedding rings, honeymoon, bridal party gifts, etc

I think there was a little confusion that the $50K was all gifted to us, when $10k of it is coming out of my pocket (rings/honeymoon).

23 StackingCash

That makes a huge difference! I was going to ask if the future in-laws would help out with the purchase of a new home for the two of you since it seemed like they easily dropped 50k on your wedding. Is Girl Ninja their only daughter? That would make more sense also.

24 Nicole

That’s the cutest save the date ever!

25 ashley

Very pretty site! Our wedding site was the most expensive part of our wedding ($4,000) and then the honeymoon was the next expensive part (about $1500). We did a “pot luck” dinner (we’re pretty redneck) and my sister in law is a florist so yay free flowers! I bought a cheap but beautiful dress from David’s. My BM’s helped me decorate the night before. All in all, our arts-and-crafts affair was about $7000-8000. I wouldn’t trade it for the world because every part of our wedding was DIY and special and the best part about it was IT WAS DEBT FREE! haha. I hope you two really soak up your day. It will be over before you blink. Congrats again!

26 zade

It’s bound to be a beautiful wedding, and no, the cost doesnt seem outrageous to me esp considering that its the cost of everything! on the pf side, you wont owe a dime afterward so please, enjoy your day.

And while it would be nice to hear details because I’m a girl and I like details, I think Girl Ninja should only say as much as she’s willing to put out there…its her (oops your) wedding, so share as little or as much as you feel comfortable sharing with nosy strangers like us!

Cheers!

27 Fig

50K. WOAH. I understand that it’s a good budget for that size and type of wedding and honeymoon and all, but it just floors me that people can spend that much on these things. My budget will probably be a tenth of that. I can only hope.

And I agree that it would be nice to hear the details about your wedding! I love yall’s story and would love to hear more about the wedding. :)

28 Steph/seenonflickr

That seems like a lot to me but I know in the grand scheme of weddings it isn’t that much. As long as you’re coming out of it debt-free then go for it!

(Though if I had the opportunity for 50K I would get married with about half that (or less) and save the rest for a really awesome trip.

I would love details! (Navy and champagne sounds very classy, and the venue looks beautiful!)

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