I’m unpopular

As you all know, Girl Ninja and I spent an epic weekend playing tourist in San Francisco (I’ll be posting about the trip tomorrow). You also know we’ve been wrestling with a major life decision. You can read about this decision here and here. In my last plea for help, 88 of you commented on what you would do. Of those 88 comments, about 84 recommended we take the dream job. I’m glad to say, we have made our decision…

We are moving to Seattle!!!!

I know, I know. Seattle was definitely the unpopular option. So why pick it? Well, I’ve come to realize a few things over the last week…

1) I use the word “dream” way to loosely. Instead of calling it a dream job, I should have been calling it “a really unique/once in a lifetime opportunity.” Honestly, I have no clue what the heck I want to do with my life. I got so caught up in the exclusivity of the position, I started to convince myself it was my dream. I think about it like this. Say you apply to Yale. You don’t really think you have a shot at getting in, but you apply anyways. Sure enough, a few months later, you hear back and find out you are accepted. At first you get super stoked that Yale picked you as one of the 6% of applicants they make offers to. Suddenly, Yale becomes the school of your dreams. But then, after the initial excitement wears off, you remember you never actually planned to, or dreamed about, going to Yale. No, you’ve always wanted to go to UCLA. Is it really cool that you got in to Yale? Yes. But does it mean that you should go to Yale? Probably not.

2) Things change. When I applied for the dream job, I was single. Now I’m married. As you can imagine, my life is way different than it was two years ago when I first sent my job application off. I mean, I’m still learning how to live with a girl. I’m learning that no matter how bad I want Girl Ninja to, she will never laugh after I fart. But most importantly, I’m learning how to be less selfish. The mobility agreement the dream job required simply asked too much. If I wanted to be told where I had to live, and how long we would be able to live there, I would have joined the military. We love Seattle. A great opportunity came up to move there, and we jumped on it.

3) The job is crazy dangerous. While bad guys and guns sounds really cool (probably because it is), I had to remind myself there was a reason I would be carrying a gun: I might find myself in a situation that I’d have to use it. Now, I’m 100% sure if someone pointed a gun at me, I would have no problem pulling the trigger and taking their life before they took mine. I don’t have an issue with carrying or using a gun. But never, under any circumstance, would I want a gun pointed at me. I have no desire to leave Girl Ninja a widow or single mom. As I browsed through the agencies database of agents that have been killed in action, I couldn’t help but think…what if that was me? Do I really want to do this work bad enough to potentially leave Girl Ninja husband-less? Sorry, but I’m not sure I do.

Those three factors are reason enough to turn down the dream job, but at the end of the day, our decision really came down to one crucial fact. Our hearts are in Seattle. Many recommended taking the dream job, because if we didn’t, we would maybe end up regretting our decision. That was probably the best advice I could have asked for. When I thought about moving to Seattle, I never once found myself wondering “Would I regret passing up the dream job?”, but as I thought about going with the dream job I consistently found myself thinking “Did I make the right choice?”

I know our decision to pursue Seattle is an unpopular one, but it’s the right decision for us. Besides, we still have a whole slew of adventures ahead. For example, moving all our stuff 1,200 miles. Finding a new apartment. Eventually buying a home. Probably having a couple dozen baby ninjas. And I’m sure I’ll be applying to a ton of new “dream” jobs over the coming months/years. Ha! Who said Seattle wouldn’t be an adventure? Bring it on!!!!

60 thoughts on “I’m unpopular

  1. Seattle is cool too. I would definitely live there and there are only a few places in this country I’d say that about.

    You didn’t mention the killing or being killed part of the dream job. That surely would be a show stopper for many people. I can say that the chances of me taking a life or vice versa are pretty slim, except for the fact that I do a lot of driving and could get into an accident.

    Seattle is cheaper than LA too right? That should be great.

    • Waaaaay Cheaper. We should be able to save about $300/month on rent for something a couple hundred square feet larger than what we rent now. Not to mention that there is no State Income Tax in Washington. That’s an automatic few thousand dollar savings right there.

  2. Your analogy was perfect. I would have never slowed down to think of it like that. It can apply to a lot of things all of us face in our life. Thanks for bringing it to light for me.

  3. “Our hearts are in Seattle.” Good to know you didn’t leave your heart in San Francisco. And now let me join the 84 out of 88 who will say you made exactly the right choice.

  4. Never look back. The decision is made. No one wants a gun pointed at them; it is better for law enforcement that someone who doesn’t feel as you do takes the mantle of those positions.

  5. Good for you, Ninja! I’m proud of you guys for making the decision that’s best for you instead of going with what’s “popular.”

    I’m on the flip side of the farting thing. I laugh when I fart and when Mr. Red farts, but he thinks it’s all gross. ::sigh::

  6. I think the future BabyNinjas being close to MamaNinja & GirlNinja’s support system is a really big deal … but I’m biased because I had my one&only while 1500 miles from my Mama.

    Good decision!

  7. I think posts like this are great because it shows that there is more to making a decision than just listing the pros and cons. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut.

  8. I didn’t post my “opinion” before since everyone was saying you should take the dream job, but I think you’re making the right choice to go to Seattle. Work is not the only thing in your life, it’s just part of your life.

  9. As long as what you’ve both decided what’s right for you & GN, that’s all that matters! It was fun for Group Ninja to put in their 2 cents… I voted for the dream job, but I certainly respect that you and Girl Ninja are going with your gut instincts; you’ll have plenty of adventures in and before your move to Seattle… FOR SURE!!

    As for the farting thing… gotta admit… it’s a sport in our home… Hubby’s training the 2012 Summer Olympics in London… he’s a shoe-in to represent Canada! And, at times, I do find it funny… unless he’s eaten eggs… then not so much!

  10. Congratulations on making a decision. I have to say that #3 is the best reason, and I might have made that same choice as well. I’m not married, but I assume doing what makes the wife happy will make you much happier too, so I think all around this is gonna work out for you two.

    I think you had two good options, and neither was wrong.

  11. Good for you! There’s much more to life than a job, and it sounds like you feel that way too. I think you will have a lot less stress and many more good times in Seattle than you would have in your “dream” job. Being surrounded by family and friends is priceless and only adds to your satisfaction in life. You’re both totally popular with me!

  12. Dreams change as life moves on. Good thing too as I’d have had a hard time finding clothes for my rock star/cowboy/astronaut/successful chef job if everything had panned out from junior high. Good luck on your move to Seattle, I’ve never been there but have heard that it’s beautiful. I’m sure your posts on your moving experiences will be just as funny & I can’t wait to hear how it goes.

  13. Booya!
    Welcome home! Dadninja, broninja, sisninja, boxerninja, blackpugninja and fawnpugninja are all doing a happy dance!

    No guns make a momninja smile!

  14. I really don’t think you’ll be unpopular among anyone here. When we read your blog, we have to take what you say at face value, so when you wrote “it’s my dream” the only advice a non-douchey stranger can give you is “follow that dream my ninja brutha!” because for all we know, it’s actually your DREAM. Had you written “I have this job that sounds like it would be super-cool but my dream is to live in Seattle and I’m not sure the job fits with my life anymore”, the votes would have gone the exact other way, as they are now.

    Life is (hopefully) long, and you’ll have a lot of dreams that change – look at who you were a few years ago compared to the guy you are today. That’s why (*ahem bringing it back*) being financially prepared is so important – it puts you in a place to take advantage of dreams as they change. So, applaud yourself for seeing something through and actually challenging yourself to see all your options (and being financially able to realize your dreams). MAJOR applaud Girl Ninja for being supportive of a hard decision so that you could take a shot at doing something you love. Then, get down to making a new dream that involves Seattle and get a kick out of learning that you’re actively shaping your future in a way that far too many people don’t.

  15. My boyfriend is in the military and while we don’t like him moving around so much and the rigidity of the job (uncertain numbers of leave per year) but we also like the fact that he gets to experience living in different places. Being military has its perks and sure, it sucks hvg to do whatever they tell you to, including whr to live, but you get that with any job. That’s why he joined up in the first place- to serve his country. Him doing his job is what is keeping others safe to go about their lives.

    Since we started dating, he had started making work-related and life-changing decisions with me, even tho I’m just a girlfriend not a wife. I also do the same with him. We decide together what we should do when it comes to moving/changing jobs, so I totally get what you’re saying abt how your status and life situations hv changed since the job application.

    I live 10 hrs away fr my parents. While I like the freedom of being independent and all that, going home is costly not to mention I miss hanging out w my family. I also feel like I’m missing out on a lot of family-related stuff since I live so far away and can’t always come home.

    G luck w Seattle. Its always good to be near family, esp when you’re in good terms w them. I know some ppl don’t care much abt their family, I’m glad you’re not one of em 🙂

  16. For what it’s worth, Ninja, I never commented on the original post. If I had, I would have told you to move to Seattle. You’re environment has a lot to do with your happiness. Having the opportunity to live in the location that you love will go a long way to making any job you have seem a lot better. And, there’s likely plenty of opportunity for other jobs if you so desired.

  17. Your post made my heart really happy this morning. That may sound like I am a bit too excitce for you, but we have actually been going back and forth between stay in Seattle (great job and circle of friends) or move to CA (family). It has been a hard decision for us too. We also decided to play the family card and I am thrilled!
    Congrats on your decision:)

  18. Congrats on making the decision!! What a big one, for sure. But now that you all get to be excited about moving back home, that’ll just keep growing and completely overtake any doubts about the decision (not that you seem to have any). I have one major suggestion, however: if you need to ship anything to Seattle, ship it via Amtrak. Yea that sounds weird, but honestly they’re the cheapest by pound, and they take really good care of your stuff because they basically just load it onto a palette and then onto a train. No throwing boxes into a truck then into a plane and back into a truck etc. In fact, anything we even sent media mail (via USPS) was pretty busted up and when we calculated it, it would have been the same price or cheaper to use Amtrak for all of that stuff also. Congrats again!! 🙂

  19. I’m with momninja on this one – SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to have you guys home! It (seriously) brought tears to my eyes. Proud you guys are letting God lead the way. And with that, you know that Seattle will most DEFINITELY be an adventure!

  20. Couldn’t be happier. Vacationing in Hawaii and got a text from GN and and was this mama ever excited. I think the whole pool area thought we’d had an earthquake with all the jumping around I did!!! Way to go Ninja’s!!!

  21. You made the choice for all the right reasons. The truth is that work isn’t everything. Balance is important in life. Particularly when you’re married and you have a family. (Looking forward to the posts about baby Ninjas.) Following your hearts is the smart thing. To hell with popular.

    I wish you all the best!

  22. Good for you on making the decision….Please just make sure it is the right one. Don’t be that 42 year old guy with a gut and 3 kids (2 of whom don’t like you) at the party saying “I could have been an FBI/CIA/NSA man if I didn’t get tied down”

  23. It doesn’t matter what we say. It’s what YOU and Girl Ninja want!

    Congrats on making the decision. You guys sound like you really thought it out and I don’t think it’s the wrong chance.

  24. Yay for Seattle! My hubs is in the navy and we are stationed a few hours north of Seattle and love it! And good for you for realizing what you might be calling a dream really isn’t where you see your life. You pulled on you grown up pants and made a hard decision that I hope will be perfect. I know you know this, but He has a plan, you just have to listen for it.

  25. “I’m learning that no matter how bad I want Girl Ninja to, she will never laugh after I fart”
    Don’t be so sure. If you keep at it and try new an inventive ways she will eventually laugh. I know from experience.

  26. Great for you to make your decision! Had I’d known the job was dangerous I think I would have chosen the safer option first. I should have been paying closer attention.

    Congrats on your decision and I know you and Girl Ninja will do great there!

  27. Hi! I’m a new reader to your blog. Congrats on the decision to move to Seattle! I will have to read the posts that you linked in this post because I am kind of out of the loop! But yay for moving!

  28. I gotta say, I’m happy for you both. Seattle is beautiful – I’d love to live there. You’ll love the atmosphere, the people, the food, and yes, you’ll even learn to like the rain! I promise. Good luck!

  29. Congratulations on your decision. I had a similar decision to make last year about choosing a job that seemed a lot more interesting, but in a location away from my family – or transfer to my agency’s office in Wisconsin much closer to my family. I choose Wisconsin, and in spite of the weather, I have no regrets of being closer to family.

  30. Congratulations on making your decision! I didn’t weigh in on the “which one to choose” question because, frankly, I think those kinds of decisions are so personal that sometimes getting outside feedback doesn’t help in making a decision. It’s more important to do the soul searching you did to find the right solution for you and your family. Enjoy Seattle and your new (safer!) adventure!

  31. You’re reasoning completely makes sense to me, especially that parts regarding how your situation in life has changed since you applied (I’m sure Girl Ninja appreciates your thoughtfulness) and how you’ve never once though you’d regret moving to Seattle but you may have had you decided to go with the “dream job”.
    Congratulations on your decision and good luck with the moving process!

  32. Wow, I haven’t posted on here in forever (but i have been reading). Just wanted to say congrats on the decision, if you are like me (and i hope you are now that it’s over), I find the most difficult part actually making the decision cause I literally spend weeks/months weighing the options which is crazy exhausting. I went through similar choices deciding which career path to take in life (one was a certain position in the military) and also with deciding to quit (big word in my vocab) running competitively. Luckily once i make a choice, I have never really regretted it afterwards which I think is a credit to how thorough one is in making their choices. So this is a very long winded way of saying Congrats and I’m proud of you!! 🙂

  33. I thought that job would be quite dangerous.

    I’m probably your most unpopular commenter on your blog since I tend to be overly passionate about some of your posts. Though, I hope you can appreciate a contrary opinion every now and then.

    Anyhow, congrats on making that tough decision and at the same time making your whole family happy too.

  34. Congrats on going with your gut! Yes, if you had mentioned the whole I-could-die situation in the original post, that probably would have swayed a lot of opinions. Hooray for safety, Seattle and the Ninja Clans all together 😀 Guess it turned out not to be a dream job after all, huh?

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