Single once again.

October 19, 2011 · 27 comments

Girl Ninja is at a conference for the rest of the week, which means I am getting a taste of the single life again. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little excited about it. I don’t have to make the bed when I get out of it. I can hang around the house in my underwear all day long, and I can fart without fear of being physically beaten (Girl Ninja’s been known to hit me from time to time). It’s great.

I’ve been married for 14 months now (four of which were long distance) so I’m pretty sure that makes me an expert on being married. And since I am a self-proclaimed expert, I thought I’d share with you the pros and cons of being married thus far…

Pro: Tax deduction. Yeah I said it and I’m not ashamed.

Con: Can’t be selfish. I actually have to consider someone else’s feelings. Being selfish is easy, being selfless is a learning process.

Pro: Dual Income. Speaks for itself.

Con: Girl Ninja sheds like a dog named Chewbacca. I swear that girl’s hair is everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

Pro: I get to live with my best friend.

Con: We sleep on a “full” size bed, in which Girl Ninja somehow angles her body in such a way that she occupies 80% of it.

Pro: I’m no longer on a rice, beans, and chicken diet. Girl Ninja makes sure our fridge and pantry are stocked with healthy and delicious food choices.

Con: I’m always hot and she is always cold.

Pro: I know I have at least one person that will always mostly support me in whatever I do.

Con: GN has more expensive taste than I do. Starting to think she loves Nordstrom more than me :)

Pro: Girl Ninja only finishes about half her plate when we go out to dinner, so I always get to eat the leftovers.

Con: Can’t think of anything else because marriage is pretty sick!

I love being married. It’s pretty much the second best thing in the world (the first best thing is center bite of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich)…

If you are single, dating, or married (all of you would fall under one of those categories)…What do you feel are the pros and cons of your current relationship status?

1 Jake Stichler - Debt Sucks

Single. For the last 4 years. And I’m 24. There are no pros to that situation.

2 Some Guy

Nice Jake…. that describes my exact situation as well. I’m 24 and been single for the last 4 years. I agree that there are no pros to the situation.

3 K

I agree, no pro’s. I’ve been single since the summer (yeah, woo, long-time). I’m 20, so I really shouldn’t be complaining. Ex-boyfriend went back to his ex-girlfriend. I just thought hard about a pro, and I guess the only one for me would be the fact that I’m in school right now, and I am devoting a lot of my time to studying, but I guess if I had an understanding boyfriend then it wouldn’t matter.

Cons: I miss cuddling. I miss sharing a bed with someone. I miss having a male best friend that I like a lot.

4 Mo D.

Just celebrated my 9th wedding anniversary on Oct. 12; met in March, 2000 and he “proposed” in Aug. that same year… here’s my pros/cons list… and for the record, I really love being married to Hubby :-)

PRO: We’re DINKS… the “NKS” part will stay that way
CON: Hubby will fart at the drop of the hat, and insists I acknowledge each and every time he lets one fly with a “Did you hear that?”.. The first batch in the morning is always disgusting!
PRO: King-size bed and small SUV are needed to accommodate Hubby’s 6’3″ frame; gotta admit, I do like the extra room ;-)
CON: He has expensive tastes when it comes to food, and a big appetite… our monthly grocery bill at times rivals our mortgage.
PRO: He’s very quick-witted; he makes me laugh every day… he’s my BFF!
CON: I generally get screwed over when it comes to his self-imposed “24 hr” rule for leftovers in the fridge

I have a long list of PRO’s… very few CON’s… I think I really lucked out ;-) Enjoy watching TV in your gitch!

5 sheila

Dating same guy for two years, but not living together
Pros: I get plenty of me time while still having someone who cares
Con: It doesn’t bother boy if I am not around…
Pro: My income, my rules in my house
Con: He doesn’t like to leave his man cave…

Dating is a great experience because it’s training for future compromise( I hope!)

6 Austin

Married for 9 mos…
PRO: Seeing God’s continual blessings on me through my wife.
CON: Have to come to grips with how selfish I am
PRO: Becoming less selfish

7 Daisy

A huge pro is that it’s cheaper! That sounds bad, but my boyfriend and I live together. Living in our own in a one bedroom would cost about $1000 (we’re just across the border from you, near vancouver), and living with roomates in a two bedroom would still cost upward of $700 each. We currently pay $1000/mo rent for a 1 bedroom, meaning it’s about $490 each. When we get married we’ll combine finances, but for now, it’s nice for it to be cheaper.

8 iwantmyhdbflat

i’m 29 and single for the past two years. I’ve just decided recently that I am ready to date seriously again! I can’t say there’s a pro being single, but one big con being single is that it gets lonely sometimes!

9 Allison

I love love love being single. I love that I can make my own schedule and decorate how I want and go anywhere anytime or buy anything I want without having to consult someone else. Basically I’m enjoying being selfish. And it is fun. It also helps that most of my friends are single and we’re enjoying this freedom together.

I do miss out on financial benefits like dual income and tax breaks, but that alone is no reason to marry someone. Maybe it’ll happen in the future, but until then I am loving the single life!

10 lindsay

29, dating the same guy for the past 10 months. Personally I think there are more cons for myself to being in a relationship than pros.

11 Josh

Couldn’t agree with you more. Married for 6 years.

12 LaTisha

Like! :)
Single and enjoying the freedom and the ability to be selfish. Been single for a year. Pro: I get to make my own decisions. Con: No one to snuggle with in the winter lol

13 StackingCash

Dual income and splitting the living expenses. It is !@#$%^& expensive to live alone!

14 Stephanie

Married for almost 3 years now.

Pro – DINKs + tax breaks. Yeah, I said it.
Con – He’s a wildebeast, and he doesn’t always completely clean the sink when he shaves his goatee (though he can complain about my shedding, so there’s that).
Pro – He gets home from work before me, so dinner’s normally waiting! (What!? It’s true!)
Con – His football card collection rivals my yarn collection.
Pro – He’s always warm!
Con – He’s ALWAYS warm!!
Pro – I’ve got a partner in life and a partner in crime.
Con – We’re both still second fiddle to the cat lol.

15 mandalikescats

Married 1 year on Saturday! Just one to share.

CON-He doesn’t do exactly what I ask when I ask it.
PRO-He’s willing to follow my “clean area” and “dirty dishes area” chart that hangs on our fridge.

I kid. Kinda. Marriage has been pretty phenomenal. I’m very blessed to have a hubby who has endless amounts of patience with me because I can sometimes be a pretty selfish person.

16 Erica

I’m 27 and I’ve been single for about a year.

pro – I can do whatever i want whenever I want
con – all my friends are married + have kids so that kinda sucks
pro – I’m able to get my debt paid of really fast
con – i get lonely

being single sucks when everyone around me is married, but I deal with it.

17 changeonabudget

I’ve been with my current partner for 3 years. 1.5 of that has been long distance. I moved halfway across the country to live with them before they decided to attend a 3 year Masters program in the US. So, thats a big CON.

But the PROS are so worth it. I love having someone to count on, who just gets me and who supports any hairbrained idea that I get into my head. I am currently get all the awesomeness of living alone and doing what I want while still having someone who sends me lovely emails and makes sure I feel loved. I’m also getting the time I need to figure myself out and focus on personal growth which I think is so incredibly important as a young twenty-something

18 Anonymous

I’ve been with my BF for 5-plus years. We’ve lived together for almost 2 of those years.

PROs: See above. I’m ready (and have been ready) to get married and have a kid for a while now…BF seems to be on a different timetable. I think he would be happy to have things go on as they are indefinitely. Me, in my mid-thirties–not so much.

CONs: I miss being able to read for hours uninterrupted and being able to talk to my mom and friends for literally hours on end without annoying anyone (not to mention Jane Austen, etc., DVD marathons), but other than that…I have to agree with the other unhappily single folks, I’m happier with my man. (But treasure my time alone too.) Take heart, folks–I was single for the last 1/2 of my 20s, more or less, and had given up hope of ever meeting someone. You will. It just takes time.

PROs: We both love music & record-shopping, love to read, like traveling. My family loves him and he likes my family. We both love our dog more than we should probably. :) He’s funny, sweet, and brings me bowls of Ben and Jerry’s for no reason. He’s loyal to me and to his friends.

19 Anonymous

First one should have been a CON!

20 krantcents

There are a lot of good and bad things about being married, but at the end of the day the good definitely out weighs the bad. I am married for 43 years.

21 Dr Dean

Enjoy your freedom, but don’t get used to it…

22 kim

PRO – always have someone to do stuff with!
PRO 2 – have someone to blame if you want to get out of a social engagement “oh sorry i can’t go to your lame pogs party, my wife wants me to do stuff.”
PRO 3 – I have someone who will talk me out of eating pizza every night
CON – if you fight, you can’t just leave – you’ve gotta be adult, calm down, and talk it out. I mean you can leave, but you usually don’t in a marriage!

Dude – introduce your girl to Nordstrom Rack. Saves me a bundle, but I still get the same labels.

23 Cherleen @ My Personal Finance Journey

I can’t help but smile as I read through your list of pros and cons. It just made me realize more that every situation we are into has its own advantages and disadvantages. Just a matter of choice which kind of situation we would like to put ourselves into.

24 Rebecca

Just celebrated 10yrs of maritial craziness, with 3 kids.

The single thing that has saved our marriage, a KING sized bed. Seriously. Dude, take a tiny part of that savings and buy a bigger bed. Its worth it. Sleep gets better, and everything else bed related too!

25 Paula @ AffordAnything.org

What a great list. I share that same feeling about always hot vs. always cold. And I’m always shedding long black hair everywhere I go!

26 Josh

Con’s: Presents? What presents? now that we are married I am apparently supposed to be giving presents but for what ever reason that is always an excuse why we don’t have money and I get the IOU’s
Pro: sure splitting expenses is definitely cheaper.
Con: Sex what’s that? (ya I said it)
Pro: She clean’s why more than me so our house is generally tidy and well kept
Con: I am the only person who does any work on the house. I renovate, maintain and perform all upkeep on the house.
Pro: She makes slightly more money that me.
Con: She always makes it a point to let everyone know.
Pro: You will always be a great companion
Con: How can you loose that much hair and not be bald?
Pro: You do pay the bills (but someone make it way more complicated than it needs to be)
Con: How is it a women can smell so bad. You put Al Bundy to shame.
Pro: You put up with me
Con: Why is it that everyone that goes wrong some how is my fault?
Pro: She does throw a great party (Even if they are all extremely expensive)
Con: Do you really need to always yell? I am standing right here I can here you.
Pro: It’s always fun to have someone around.

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