Remember that time I almost wanted a baby

Our landlord, the one who lives directly below us, has a two month old daughter. He also has a longstanding tradition of going on a date night with his wife every Wednesday. As you can imagine, their last few months have been crazy busy and they haven’t had much time to get away. Girl Ninja and I thought it would be nice if we offered to babysit for them last night, so babysit we did. And let me tell you… I almost walked away from the evening wanting a baby. Keyword there my friends is ALMOST.

This shouldn’t be surprising though. Babies are like puppies in a pet store. Side note: Never go to a pet shop to look at puppies unless you’re prepared to buy one…puppies play jedi mind tricks on you. Sure a puppy looks cute in the store; If they pee on you, you laugh it off. If they slobber on you, you think it’s cute. If they bite at your ankles, you think they want to play. So you figure “Why not?! Let’s buy this cute little fur-ball.” Only to realize a few weeks later that the puppy does nothing but slobber, pee on you, and chew things up. Puppies are a lot of work, and ya know what? Babies are ten times worst. They’re like puppies. On crack…

So yes, last night I will admit I had a little baby fever and thought it would be fun to have one. But I need to remember this isn’t the first time I’ve had feelings like this. In fact, every time I drive a new car, I always think about how fun it would be to go buy a new car. I mean come on, they smell awesome and drive wonderfully. But then my conscience gets the best of me and reminds me that

A) there is nothing wrong with my 2007 Scion tC

B) a new car is only new for about 0.02 seconds, then it becomes used

C) cars are a depreciating asset. I’m tempted to try and convince you babies are also depreciating assets, but it’s probably best I save that for another day.

At the end of the day I think babies are super cute and a lot fun, but until they come with a 30 day return policy I think I’m gonna have to delay my baby gratification. That said, all of my friends/family members are welcome to have as many kids as they want. I don’t mind kids at all…so long as I get to give them back.

Do any of you baby-free folks ever get the premature desire to pop a few kids out? What are things that you want, but know you shouldn’t get (pets, new cars, electronic devices, etc)? What methods do you use to talk some sense in to yourself? I personally would love a dog, but I know Girl Ninja and I are too busy for pets right now 🙁

19 thoughts on “Remember that time I almost wanted a baby

  1. It was never in my life’s master plan to procreate; I like kids, don’t get me wrong, and I’ve been told by many what a great Mom I’d make, but truthfully, I never really had any desire to have children. Being a parent is THE hardest job out there, and I applaud those people that want kids, have kids, and raise & love them with everything they have in them, but it wasn’t for me or Hubby (luckily, I met someone that didn’t want to have children, either).

    Do we feel like we’re missing out by not being parents? No, we don’t, not in the least. Are we worried about who will be looking after us in our “old age”? No, we don’t, not in the least.

  2. We’re lucky in a way. Our friend’s son had a baby and Grandma is the sole custodian. Since we are more active than Grandma, the now 17 month old lives with us so she can have a more social and involved life. And since Grandma lives a couple miles down the road, daycare and babysitting are built right in. We’re over 40, so babies weren’t an option until God apparently decided we DID need a baby in our lives! It works, when YOU are ready. Otherwise, stick to babysitting…it’s more fun that way!

  3. No maternal instincts. I’m not a fan of children in theory, but like 99% of kids I know personally. Also, having a baby in graduate school is hard – HARD! And since we’re living on a grad-school budget, there’s no way to afford diapers/formula/medical bills/etc. Also, I’m not a big fan of “needy” – regardless of age or basic motor skill capabilities.

    Also, that whole “birth” thing doesn’t seem so pleasant…

  4. You two can borrow and of the ninja dogs from our home anytime you need a dog fix.

    As for bobies, they will come in time and Dad Ninja and I will enjoy them for the same reason you enjoyed the baby last night…WE GET TO GIVE IT BACK!

  5. If I could be certain I’d have one of those sweet babies who sleep most of the time and are almost never fussy, I might do it. But my luck, I’d have the colicky, perpetually screaming nightmare child. I think I will pass (at least until hubby gets out of school- then I may not be able to delay any longer).

  6. Baaaaaaaabiiiiiiiiiiiies!

    Yeah, we’re all about them. I’m sure I’m not even half aware of how much they’re going to change our lives but COME ON. I totally want to see a LMM/Peanut face-meld on a mini human.

  7. OK – confession time. Sometimes I get these tiny glimmers of, hmm, babies can be pretty cute. I think MY kid will be super cute. Wouldn’t it be nice if it can grow up and be a really precocious kid… and then that moment passes. Which, thank goodness, because we are not ready for children within the next 5 years.

  8. We have TWINS,our boys are turning 8 next month,They are the best Blessing we have received from GOD. No material possession could ever,ever,ever replace them. Getting iloveyou’s,hugsiesand kissesesss from them doesn’t even measure an inch from what i felt when i drove our first car,and the next car,and the next. We know we are putting our hearts out in the street for having kids, but it was the best decision we have ever made. 🙂

  9. One of our friends is expecting a baby and i’m a bit jealous when she tells me of her doctor visits and when I get to see the little baby in the womb picture… but even with the nicest cutes babies, I just don’t think its my thing.

    I think we are destined to share my husbands brother’s kids and be the really cool aunts and uncles that help pay for college and have awesome advice and what not… that and being huge volunteers for things and projects.

    Every now and then tho my husband does something cute and I imagine a little version of him and I get a little baby glee… but for now i’m popping the pill.

  10. I have the exact opposite reaction to puppies in the pet store when it comes to babies. I have a one year old nephew who I love to death. And I love spending time with him. But my god, every time we see him, I leave thinking, “THAT IS HIS MOM AND DAD’S LIFE EVERY. SINGLE. DAY?! HOW ARE THEY STILL MOVING?!” No joke, I couldn’t deal with a kid 24/7 for 18+ years. I’ll stick with being an aunt only.

    One thing I recently talked myself out of was a super cute desk set up at Office Max. It had a simple black laptop desk (glossy with a pretty swirly pattern on top), a patterned rug THAT MATCHED a hot pink filing cabinet and purple desk chair. I was in love. Then that little voice said to me, “Red… You don’t even use a desk. You haven’t owned a desk in 2+ years. You use your lap and enjoy lying in bed or sitting on the couch with your laptop. Plus? That filing cabinet? YOU NEVER PRINT THINGS OUT! What could you possibly file away in there?” OKAY, OKAY, frugal alter ego, I won’t buy it! Thanks for pissing on my parade.

  11. I’ve been having baby fever BAD the past couple of weeks. My cousins are all popping them out and I keep thinking “we can do it!” but just like you said, with other people’s kids you can give them back. We have a puppy and he’s a lot of work. I set up a Baby Bucket List, a list of things I want to do before we have a baby, and I’m going to stand firm to that list for now. So now babies for at least 2 years.

  12. My GF has that same mentality lol. She loves children so long as she can give them back. She loves being auntie and God-mother to everyone else’s children cause it means she can spoil them and then return them home.

  13. My wife and I have two kids (5 and 2.5) and they are awesome, but you are right, they are a ton of work. However they can drive you nuts all day, and do one cute little thing and you instantly forget about all the hard stuff. Even though I have two kids, my wife and I will sometimes think we want a third one and then one of our boys will have a crazy day, and it changes our minds. So far, my wife and I have both wanted a third baby, just never at the same time yet 🙂 One of us is usually talking the other off the cliff. So whether we have bambino number 3 remains to be seen.

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