Today’s rant comes from PDITF reader, Lesley. She’s the author of 23 to Life, a blog about Self-Improvement, Passionate living, Minimalism, and a bunch of other topics. If you like what she had to say, go check her out. Now on to her rant about punching her coworkers in the face….
If you’ve ever worked in an office, you probably know the type of coworker I’m talking about. There’s always at least one crazy, annoying person who manages to fool the hiring department into thinking they’re semi-sane and semi-capable. Coworkers like that are like little nasty bed bugs: hard to get rid of once you’ve let them in the door.
Working in an office requires some semblance of decorum and this is what makes it so frustrating. You generally have to be polite, even when your fingers are itching to slap that better-than-you grin off their smug face! Nothing really phases me, but dealing with crazy coworkers day in and day out can push even the most zen person to their limits.
So here’s why I want to punch some of my office coworkers in the face:
Coworkers who don’t know how to use the computer.
I’m sorry, but the reality is that we’re living in a world that relies on a basic understanding of technology, this includes knowing how to use a computer. You may be a dinosaur but the rest of us have work to do and we don’t have time to show you how to use the mouse and keyboard.
I once had a coworker bring in an audio recorder because she wanted to record me explaining to her how to open a file. The first time, I right-clicked and showed her how to click on “Open”. The next time, I double-clicked on the file to open it. She physically stopped me with a hand on my wrist and said, “woah – back up there a second – WHAT did you just do?” She blamed me for confusing her by doing something two different ways and instructed me to only do it one way because she was “still learning”.
You call me stupid. I call you stupid.
Is there anything that makes you want to punch your annoying coworker in the face more than when said coworker points out that you did something wrong? Obviously, if you did do something wrong you’ll do what you can to rectify the matter, but it’s just irritating when your arch nemesis (who doesn’t know he’s your arch nemesis) had to be the one to bring it to your attention.
BUT, if you, in fact, did not do anything wrong and your coworker was just being stupid, then I think it’s okay to punch them in the face. For example, one time my coworker wrote me an email saying “are you quite sure this email address is correct because it’s quite unusual for there to be a dot at the end of it”. I was absolutely dumbfounded and momentarily stunned. I didn’t know whether to scream obscenities or laugh hysterically at the ridiculousness of this inquiry. I finally managed to reach a calm place and emailed her back saying that the “dot” on the end of the email was simply a period that is required by all sentences to be proper.
I understand you may not have a life outside of work, but please don’t invite me to lingerie parties disguised as “pyjama networking parties”. Also, please don’t invite me to go swimming at the pool (or any other activity that requires either one of us to don a bathing suit) with you . What makes it even more inappropriate is that you are a 45-year-old man and I am a 21-year-old woman.
Coworkers who do not know what tact is.
And, finally, we have the tactless coworker. These may possibly be the most annoying type of coworker in the known universe. They say blatant things that rankle your nerves and make you want to do violent things to them and their car. They’ll casually say things like “Wow, it must take you a really long time to get home on the bus. Man, it looks NASTY out there. I’m so glad I drive. Okay, bye! See you on Monday!” Or, maybe it’s “Wow, your lunch has a really strong smell. It’s why I don’t eat ethnic foods anymore.” Every time I think about vaulting over the desk and attacking, I have to remember a prison sentence is not worth it.
The horrifying truth is that annoying coworkers are everywhere. Even the most stringent office is susceptible to infiltration. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I don’t know about you, but for me nothing would be more satisfying or more enjoyable than being able to punch my annoying coworkers right in the kisser.
Ninja’s Comments: Fortunately, I don’t have any annoying coworkers, being that I work from home. Ha! That said, I think every job I’ve had in the past, has always had ONE person that just kinda sucked. Why is that? Why is there always “that guy” that totally make an enjoyable workplace, well, miserable? It’s like an unwritten rule all offices must hire one quasi-pyschotic quasi-drama person. Do you have any annoying coworkers? Tell us about him or her!
If you would like to be considered for a “Things I want to punch in the face” guest post get in touch with me and hopefully we can work something out. Only rules are it has to be funny and you have to be passionate.