I need a personal assistant

Screen shot 2009-11-17 at Nov 17, 2009, 12.08.28 AM

So I was driving home last night and the host of the radio show I was listening to proposed a question to all of his listeners. I thought it was kind of an awkward question. This is what he asked: If you could get paid to do something you already do on a regular basis, what would pick? Some callers chimed in and said things like “Get paid to go to the bathroom every morning” or “Get paid to clean my apartment.”

I thought the question kind of sucked, becuase I still wouldn’t want to clean my apartment, even if I got paid for it. I would have asked a different question. “If you could outsource one of your common tasks, what would you outsource?” This my friends is a better question because it’s much more realistic. No one is ever going to pay me to clean my apartment, but I could hire someone else to do so.

Then I got to thinking, when I’m stupendously rich what would I legimimately consider outsourcing? Here are a few things I would definitely have someone else do for me…

1) Grocery shop.

I hate it. It stresses me out. To many items on the shelf. Not to mention the variation in prices. One applesauce will cost $2 and the one right next to if $5. I then start trying to figure why is the other one over twice as much? Is the $2 one that gross? Should I risk buying the $5 one? Oh no, my heads about to explode, I can’t make a decision.

2) Drive me places.

If you haven’t noticed, I’m not the best driver as demonstrated in this accident and this stupid move. I kind of have a tendency to run in to other things. If I had someone else drive me around I would totally save money simply because I wouldn’t be able to run my car in to things anymore. I could also be more productive and read the news, write a blog post, or make phone calls while my chauffeur was driving me around.

3) Do my dishes.

You know when you eat a super big and super good meal. All you want to do is lay down and watch TV afterwards right? Well I can’t because the dishes (and Girl Ninja) are taunting me from the kitchen. I’d let them sit, Girl Ninja can’t stand it. I would totally outsource my dishwashing duties to someone if we had the means.

Ah, a boy can dream right? What are some mundain tasks you have to do frequently that you would love to pay someone else to do? Mow the lawn? Wash your car? Clip your toenails? What would you outsource? Drop me a line and let me know.

21 thoughts on “I need a personal assistant

  1. Hmmm, I already outsource a lot considering I’m not truly wealthy, just fat and lazy :/

    Car washing, insect control, landscaping, eating out too much, and I’m sure there is something else but can’t think of it now. The biggest thing I really want to outsource is housecleaning. I NEED a housekeeper because I hate cleaning the house and I want a clean house at the same time. I’m some kind of terrible…bad post Ninja!

  2. I have just finished a week of vacation and if there was anyway I could outsource my job I would go back to bed this morning.

    If that is too much of a stretch then I would want someone to clean everything in my house that is lower than my knees. Everything there seems to get much dirtier much faster and seems much harder to clean.

  3. I would loooove a personal shopper… I really, really, really dispise clothes shopping, so someone to go out and get my clothes, shoes, etc would be a dream!! While this personal shopper’s at it, he/she could pick up all necessary toiletteries, potions, lotions, etc and manage the inventory so I never run out of my essentials 😉

  4. I would outsource cleaning the house, not so much that we wouldn’t lift a finger, but just someone to come in every couple of weeks, give the bathrooms a good cleaning and such.

  5. Boy, I already outsource so much now that I think about it. I live in a maintenance provided HOA so I don’t do yard upkeep, exterior maintenance on my house, or snow removal. And I have a cleaning lady. 🙂 I guess I’d like to have someone wash my car every week. I like a clean car but I don’t really like to do it.

  6. I started using a cleaning service about five years ago and have never regretted it since. For $90 once a month, I get a team of two efficient ladies who do the tough and time-consuming jobs like floors and the tub that have become more difficult for me as I get older. This doesn’t of course mean I don’t clean for myself; I keep the kitchen and bathroom clean, do the dishes (in the dishwasher, natch), and keep my belongings neat. In fact the night before the cleaning team is due, I spend a couple of hours straightening up so they don’t have to do anything I should properly do myself.

    As for the car, I use a car wash once every couple of weeks. And my landscaping and snow are taken care of as part of my apartment maintenance.

    If I could find someone reasonable and competent, I might hire a private chef to do some of my meals. And as much as I like to cook, it’s time-consuming and I hate cleaning up. I would decline having someone clip my toenails, but a good fingernail clipper might be worth the expense.

  7. I’d outsource answering all my emails … and attending events on my behalf 🙂 … so the assistant would arrive at a Tupperware party or a baby shower and say… well she “Miko” couldn’t make it, but I’m here on her behalf …

    what a life! 🙂

  8. Good question. I would also have someone do the grocery shopping for me. I hate it with a passion. I would also have someone clean my house and wash my car. I would probably also love someone to do my laundry and mow my lawn. Those would be the good days if that could happen.

  9. I would have a hair stylist and makeup artist. I hate doing these two womanly tasks (even though I rarely “do” my hair and apply my makeup in about 5 minutes) and it would be nice to feel awesome about how my hair and makeup looks every day. Vain, I know.

  10. A professional organizer. I’d like one to come and declutter my life. I actually looked into it, but at $500 for 4 hrs, I’d run out of money long before I ran out of clutter. Clearly, I’m in the wrong profession.

    And while we’re dreaming, I’d like a grocery shopper/meal planner/part-time chef. I don’t mind cooking or doing dishes, but I need someone to look at my schedule, plan meals that reflect the time constraints each day, do the grocery shopping, and cook on the days that I have to be in three places at the same time (three kids, all in sports=PBJ for dinner way too often). I’m exhausted and overwhelmed just writing about it!

  11. I have a cleaning lady who comes whenever I ask her. When I was working full time, she used to come every week, clean up the apartment and do the ironing. Now that I am working part-time, my budget is somewhat tighter and I am frequently out of town. She is no longer going to other people because, she is getting old but. she likes me and I like her so, although she does a mediocre job by my mom’s standards, I still employ her.

  12. I would have someone cook breakfast dinner on weekdays and package up my lunch for the next day. I love cooking, but it’s so much more stressful during the week. I’d also have someone put away my laundry. I can wash it, I just hate folding it/hanging it up.

  13. I feel like all the housekeeping duties have already been outsourced by my husband to me. For his birthday, I was also his personal shopper and got him several shirt and shoes to pick from.

    We hired housecleaners to come once a month for four man-hours and it’s awesome. I keep the house tidy and they do the deep bathroom and kitchen cleaning we need. It’s definitely worth the money. We also have gardeners mow front and back every other Friday but I maintain the flower beds.

    Over the summer we’ll probably have my in-laws come up and help us out with stuff around the house. My MIL has a degree in interior design and my FIL is quite handy. He was laid off a couple months ago and it’s hard to get a job when you’re over 60 so we’ll just help them out till they officially “retire.”

  14. One mundane job? I’d hire somebody to drag the trash to the end of the street AND sort the recycling. I hate that job. Could I also hire someone to pick out clothes that match for me? Maybe someone to decide which beer to have with dinner?

  15. Stopping for gas. I hate it. I would also like someone to plan my meals and buy the necessary groceries. I’m willing to cook, if someone else will think of what to make and make sure the ingredients are here……ahh……to dream!

  16. Back when I still had 2 cats, I would have loved to have had someone come in just to clean the litter box. Well, while they were here, they could also dust and vacuum. Those are the household chores I dislike the most. It would be awesome! Especially, if I could afford to pay someone.

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