Oops I did it again

October 4, 2011 · 28 comments

If you’ve been reading this blog for more than, oh I don’t know let’s say a week, you know I frequently fail at being the awesome husband I strive to be. Yet again, I have another story for you about my most recent shortcoming.

In April, I decided I wasn’t going to go to the financial bloggers conference in Chicago. But after some significant peer pressuring from some close blogging buddies, I caved in and decided I would go. I asked Girl Ninja if it was cool with her and she gave me the green light.

Gold star for me right? I had something I wanted to do, and before doing it, I got permission from the spouse! I’m pretty sure that makes me husband of the year. Right ahead of this guy…

So now comes the time where I share with you my epic failure.

While I did a good job initially communicating with Girl Ninja about the trip, I seriously dropped the ball at continuing the communication throughout the process. I didn’t talk with her about ticket prices, I didn’t see if she was comfortable with me sharing the room with a complete stranger, I didn’t ask if she was fine with me going to a nightclub with a bunch of other people (yeah we went to a freakin’ night club for one of the events. It was both awkward and awesome).

In my mind, all I needed was permission from the wife to go, totally overlooked the fact that she should probably be consulted throughout the process. Lord knows  I would be pissed at her if she asked if she could go shopping with a friend, got my consent, and then purchased a $1,000 purse.

And that my friends is why I failed at being a good husband. I was unintentionally pulling a double standard. I can do what I want, but Girl Ninja has to ask me if she wants to do something. Man, I’m a tool.

Fortunately, Girl Ninja is patient with me and instead of beating my mercilessly, she poked in the bedroom one day and asked if we could talk about the conference more. We sat down, had a heart to heart. She expressed her concerns about my lack of communication. I apologized severely. And we reconciled. Thank goodness for Girl Ninja being such an amazing person. Don’t know what I’d do with out her.

In fact, she’s so awesome she wrote up a short paragraph about her take on the situation. Here it is:

This situation was definitely one of those times I wanted to rub in Ninja’s face it’s time to practice what you preach.  Communication, teamwork, compromise – all words we have agreed to stick to when it comes to making decisions TOGETHER on larger purchases. Whoops.  Ninja started out with the right motives and got distracted along the way.  Honestly, I was happy to see this happen.  I was happy because I think it humbled him a little bit (always a good thing right?).  Yes, he is WAY more financially savvy than I am but it doesn’t mean his opinions trump mine.  He felt a lot worse about it than I did, so I went easy on him.  Instead, I suggested a trip to San Diego for me.  Fair? I think so!

So…Ninja’s not perfect. Thank goodness because neither am I, but let’s not talk about that right now :).

Have you ever been guilty of operating under a double standard? Have you failed recently in your marriage or relationship? Why is being selfish so easy?

I freaking love this girl…