I’m not as sexist as I sound

The other day I made, what I thought was, a rather harmless quip about the female menstrual cycle. Apparently not everyone appreciated the analogy as a handful of female readers called me sexist and chauvinistic. If you were one of the offended parties, please accept my apology; I meant no harm.

That said, I would like to remind everyone that this blog is not really suppose to be taken seriously. Remember it is called Punch Debt In The Face, not Personal Finance For Really Boring People.

I always try and think about how my jokes will be received. Unfortunately, as PDITF grows it’s harder to predict the outcome. With over 1,300 people reading each article, I’m bound to irritate someone. I don’t do it on purpose. I don’t do it intentionally. It’s just the nature of the beast I suppose.

Take for example this excerpt from my extended warranties blog post… “Unlimited warranties are harder to find than a sober person at ASU.” When I make a joke like that do you really think I believe every person that went to ASU was an alcoholic? Of course I don’t! So why would you think I seriously believe all grumpy women are on their period? Answer: You shouldn’t. It was my lame attempt at humor that registered without about 98% of you, and ticked off 2%.

Transition to today’s post…

Okay, now that we got that out of the way, it’s probably time to anger a few more of you by sharing the most recent development in the Ninja household, Girl Ninja is getting an allowance! (Uh oh, I can smell the burning bras now).

Hold on just a minute, it’s not what you think. We’re not talking a “take out the trash and I’ll give you $5” kind of allowance, but more a “Girl Ninja can spend $75/month on whatever the heck she wants and I can’t stop her” kind of thing.

At first, we thought we could just spend freely without worry. Turns out I am way too much of a micromanager for that system to work. Every time GN would return home from the store, I’d immediately ask her how much she spent. Not because I didn’t trust her to spend wisely, but because I ALWAYS wanted to know exactly how much money was coming and going.Β  Needless to say, Girl Ninja totally felt uncomfortable and hated each time I asked “How much did that cost?”.

It didn’t take long for us to realize the “free spending” system wasn’t working out. After some much needed dialogue, we decided she should just get $100/month to spend on whatever the heck she wants. No questions asked.

Before, if Girl Ninja wanted a pair of Hunter rain boots (which she does), I would have screamed, kicked, and begged her not to get them. But now that she takes $75 out of our checking account each month, she can use it to buy anything her little heart desires, Hunter rain boots included. What she doesn’t spend, she gets to keep and add to next months allowance. She likes the system way more, and I do to!

And now the double standard…. I DON’T have an allowance.

Not because I get to operate outside of the household rules, but because I am so freakin’ frugal I literally spend less than $20/month on myself. When the time comes that I feel like droppin’ some major coin, I’ll definitely have to clear it with the wifey first. There’s no inequality here! Just two different people making our finances work the best we can πŸ™‚ Booya for teamwork!

Reader Questions:

By a show of hands (or in this case comments), how many of you have I seriously offended? Do any of you actually get my humor? Am I the awkward guy that thinks I’m funny, but really I’m just being booed off stage?

On another note, How does “frivolous” spending work in your household? Anyone else use an allowance system like we do?

87 thoughts on “I’m not as sexist as I sound

  1. “Every time GN would return home from the store, I’d immediately ask her how much she spent. Not because I didn’t trust her to spend wisely, but because I ALWAYS wanted to know exactly how much money was coming and going. Needless to say, Girl Ninja totally felt uncomfortable and hated each time I asked β€œHow much did that cost?”.”

    YES.

    BF has an allowance, I don’t, for the exact reasons you described.

  2. To be honest I was a little ticked off when I read it. I’m not saying there isn’t any truth to the whole PMS idea (though for some reason it doesn’t noticeably affect me personally), but the absolute last thing you want to hear from someone when you are legitimately upset is “oh, you must be on your period.” Especially when coming from a man, it feels very belittling.

    Otherwise, I’m interested in hearing what others do with regards to the allowance. I’ve got the old nuptials coming up next year and we really haven’t decided what to do with our finances. I like the idea of an allowance… but how much? And what does it pay for (eating out, haircut, clothing, cell phone?).

    • Fair enough, I think it’s fine if people say “that joke sucked” because some of my jokes do suck, and hopefully some don’t. Just not a fan of people getting all in a tizzy about it. Thanks for being honest, and actually explaining what about the joke was offensive. It’s the only way I learn πŸ™‚

      p.s. Things like phone, haircut, etc don’t come out of the allowance since those are things she essentially needs. But clothes, decorations, dining out with friends, coffee, etc are included in that for the most part. I’m sure we still have a lot of figuring out to do, but so far this seems to be working pretty well for both of us.

      • Nah, I think you’re pretty funny 99% of the time. It’s why I come back! Maybe just read some of those to GirlNinja first to get her reaction πŸ™‚

        Good to know re. allowance. Since my bf has a history of buying power force wristbands at $60 apiece (AHHH!! such a scam!!), I imagine we’ll need something of this sort so that I don’t freak the eff out!

  3. Your humor is very funny, unfortunately, it is bound to strike some nerves. That’s the danger of blogging. You don’t even have to be funny to piss people off. Just a while back, Get Rich Slowly had a post about strategic defaults, that was an intense discussion.

    My wife and I are pretty frugal, we spend less than we earn. Because of that, we really don’t deny each other anything.

  4. Generally I think you’re very funny, but in the case of yesterdays joke, i agreed with thewanderingbudget.
    Would you make a racist joke? If you did, would you be surprised and write a post like this if someone called you on it? If the answer is no to wither of them, why did you think it was OK to make a sexist joke?

    On a PF note, I’m getting married in June (Wheee!) and I think I may well go with your idea here. At the moment, I give myself an allowance, which covers some of my contribution to joint expenses as well as personal spending desires. But once me and the other half buy a house, and all other money is going into a mortage rather than a deposit fund, I can see a similar system working well for us!

    • I see what you are saying, but I guess we just have differing views. I guess I’m just not as sensitive as others perhaps?

      If someone told a “black” joke I wouldn’t immediately label that person a racist. Heck my friend told me three black jokes last weekend….and he’s half black! Pretty sure that doesn’t make him a racist…does it? Is there a double standard where women can joke about their period and it’s fine, but if a man does it he MUST think women are inferior? If so, that’s a lame double standard.

      p.s. did you see my cartoon today? Why haven’t I been called a sexist for that yet? Probably because it was nothing more than a lighthearted quip, just like the comment the other day.

      Lastly, the allowance system has been great. The only thing we don’t like about it is the word allowance. We should rename it a “budgeted spending category” instead.

      • I can’t speak for everyone, but my problem with it wasn’t that I didn’t understand it was a joke. I mean, clearly, you don’t think every time a woman is upset with something, she’s menstruating. My problem was you supporting the culture that that joke survives & flourishes in — the idea that my emotions, as a woman, can be trivialized/are less important/serious than yours, as a man. That’s what that joke is about. I understand that you probably don’t see it that way, but I very much *do,* and hence, offence.

        (That rhymed!)

        • I totally agree – joking about something creates acceptance for it. And no, your stick figure wasn’t sexist, because there is no cultural bias that men are inferior to women.

          And telling someone that they are ‘too sensitive’ because they take offence at a joke which demeans them discourages them from sticking up for themselves in future, and is bullying.

  5. Personally I didn’t get offended…. but then again I don’t offend easily. I think you are funny, if I didn’t I wouldn’t come back everyday to read πŸ™‚

  6. I whole-heartedly agree with Jaimie… it’s hard to offend me, and I don’t get offended easily; I think you’re hilarious! I actually laughed when I read your menstrual cycle remark; I didn’t think it was a big deal.

    Yes, Hubby and I use an allowance system, and it’s AWESOME; system’s been in place since before married (over 8 years now). He uses his to buy clothes, workout gear, and the occasional meal off the coffee truck; I use mine for my manicures, haircuts, make-up and clothes (when I’m in the mood to buy clothes… I HATE clothes shopping).

  7. My husband and I have an allowance too, which I think is a great system! But $75 per month? Ouch, that’s a bit stingy. Whatever works for the both of you though, if you’re both happy with it then great!

  8. Well, you’re not going to like my response. I think that you tend to make a lot of sexist “jokes.” I do get offended, and have stopped reading your blog on a daily basis. Personally, I think a lot of your jokes simply reinforce worn-out stereotypes.

    And you can say to lighten up, have a sense of humor, but sexism is very real, and women face it on a daily basis. So little jokes that reinforce the stereotypes we still fight…not so funny to me.

    • I like your response. It’s honest and ya took time to explain yourself. Did you also find my joke about ASU sobriety offensive? I can be more cognizant of jokes on the behalf of women and tone them down, but to say that I wont poke fun at the opposite sex would be a lie. But remember, I also poke fun at men too, like today’s cartoon. Or my blog post last week about how men can’t just put Axe body spray on them as an alternative to showering. I try and spread the sarcastic love. Hopefully, that’s clear. Even if I’ve offended you 10 times (which I think would be a lot), I’ve written over 600 articles, so that means I did alright the other 590 times.

      p.s. I LOVE WOMEN!

      • The Joke about ASU doesn’t target a perticular race, gender, religion or sexual orientation. You’re essentially making fun of all creeds. I think that is the distinction. Anytime you single out a perticular type of person and stereotype them, it feels off and it’s not very funny. I didn’t comment on the last aritcle, but since you asked, I’m giving my 2 cents now.

        • Oops, I also meant to say that I wasn’t offended, but I don’t think stereotype jokes are that funny. I think “do what you want money” is a great idea. I would hate being micromanaged like that especially if I was doing my fair share of earning the moola.

    • Yes, sexism is real. When people found out that my wife was deploying overseas, leaving me, her dumb-old husband, alone with our then 9 month old son, people asked who was coming to help me. Because naturally a man is incapable of taking care of a child and working full time. People (read: women) were genuinely shocked that I don’t have any help (except daycare).

      My intention isn’t to start a flame-war here, but to point out that this stuff happens all the time and its just a matter of what side of the fence you are on.

      I don’t get mad that people find it strange that I can take care of my son all by myself, or offended that men in general are portrayed in commercials (humorously) as clueless Neanderthals that are concerned only with beer and women and are incapable of figuring out simple tasks that any woman can. This is because most commercials are targeted to women, imo.

      A joke is a joke and sometimes you are the subject.

  9. ps – we don’t have an allowance system. we’re both pretty frugal naturally, and we have a set amount of money we save each month. we discuss large purchases with each other, but other than that we don’t need to set a weekly/monthly spending limit because we are both on the same page financially.

  10. Yeah, your jokes can be considered offensive by some. For me, life is too short to get majorly offended at some of the jokes people tell, yours included. I keep coming back because you make me laugh out loud some days. Laughter is good for the soul.

    Right now, we don’t have an allowance because we are very busy paying down our debt and between the 3 of us (we are a combined household with 3 adults), we might spend about $50 altogether on things here and there…they money comes out of our jars though. We clear major purchases with each other. Once the debt is paid off (by my calculations, in 2 years), we’ll start thinking about an allowance for each of us.

    • Can’t wait for that debt free day to come for you. Keep working hard and it will happen sooner than you thought! And you’re right, life is too short πŸ™‚

  11. Not offended, but perhaps that’s more because I’m warped than because you haven’t been trying hard enough to offend me?

    I can imagine how GN felt being grilled about her purchases…that sounds uncomfortable for everybody!

    another valuable tool (in addition to having blow money budgeted so she can spend that $75 on anything legal) is to have a pre-defined “Let’s talk about it” limit. So in our household, that’s $150. DH wants a fishing accessory or boat part that costs $151…we discuss it, even if only via text before he swipes the debit card. $149…he’s fine! but that’s what works for us.

  12. As a man with a girlfriend who gets a period once a month, I fully support your joke last week.

    I think you’re funny. This is still my favorite PF blog on the web, so keep it up.

    As for the allowance, I’ve always budgeted $60 a month for myself in cash, where I can withdraw up to $60 in cash and spend it on little things. I hardly ever use it, but I kinda give myself that allowance. Sounds like a great idea to keep you off your wife’s back.

  13. I was getting a little out of control on my random spending, so my husband and I both decided (together) that we should implement an allowance for me. I now keep my little spreadsheet for each month and track exactly what I spend on random clothes, makeup, whatever. The GOAL (not limit, no penalty for going over) is for me to keep it under $75/month. It has been successful so far and I think it’s a great idea! I feel good when I look back and know I didn’t waste a ton of money without even realizing it.

    • I like that term, GOAL. I need to add that to my vocabulary, cause there is obviously no penalty if GN does spend more than $75. Good call.

  14. I love your jokes/sense of humor – people need to lighten up – sheesh!

    Plus how many dumb jokes are there about guys and their slob-like, sports-loving, beer-drinking, skirt-chasing tendencies? Your jokes are not mean-spirited with a hidden agenda, they are just for fun:)

    Don’t let the grumps get your down!

  15. I am a girl. I get a period. I sometimes am bitchy because of it. But I didn’t take offense to your joke. That’s the beauty of the blog – it’s yours! I think most people understand you weren’t meaning to hurt or offend anyone. I always take things pretty light-hearted…

    My husband and I have a weekly allowance of about $40 each. May seem high but we are fortunate enough to have well paying jobs and no debt so we always spend less than we earn.
    This is used for small things for the kids that are needed as they arise during the week, my husband is on the road a lot so covers his lunches, and other things ( i love slurpees! ) I think the allowance system works great for us – hassle free spending. I am pretty tight on watching what goes through our bank account so this allows my husband to have some money to burn without me asking questions like Ninja does to his wife.

  16. I like the allowance system, but I still think it would be best to have both partners on an equal allowance. It would look like this:
    Paycheck(s) -> Joint account -> (Equal allowance distributions) -> Separate frivolous spending accounts
    This GUARANTEES that the frivolous spending will be equal over time because the separate accounts create a β€œrollover” effect. If both people get $75 a month, then Girl Ninja could spend all $75 each month (for a simple example), and you could spend your $20 a month. In one year, you could buy something for you for $660 guilt (and fight) free. If both of you get the same allowance, then neither of you will ever feel bitter about the other person’s fun spending. (In fact, you might find that you do spend more than you think you do if you start tracking it with your own allowance account).

    The problem I see with money fights is a lack of facts. Most money fights seem to be about perceived inequities. By tracking both people’s spending, fights about money can go from “I feel like you are spending more” to “Wow, you are really spending less.”

  17. You can’t worry about offending a minority of your readers. I’m willing to bet the majority of your readers, myself included, read your blog every day because there aren’t exactly many PF blogs that are funny….or feature stick figure cartoons. Sure, a chunk of the recent posts have been about women and crazy habits or what not that you’re only finding out about now because you’re married…the post a while back about GN shedding her hair comes to mind…but, that’s what’s going on in your life right now, and you absolutely should blog about it. If people think you’re seriously being sexist and degrading towards women, they should probably just stop reading the internet.

    Keep doing what you’re doing, your style is like no other!

    As for the allowance system, aside from moving to a joint account, we haven’t quite decided how we’re going to handle it when we get married next month. We generally don’t spend much unless we’re out someplace together, or we’re making a major purchase (such as a new fancy camera, new computer, etc), and that’s discussed for quite some time before a purchase is actually made. I guess she does spend some on clothes, but it’s never more than $50/month so I’m not worried about it.

  18. I get your humor and haven’t been offended by anything. As for a frivolous spending. Right now it’s like $10-20 a month, but that’s because I’m still working like crazy to pinch every penny I can. Sometimes I buy stuff on a whim and then talk myself out of it the next day and return it. Stupid stuff that only costs $5. True story. I think about $50-75 would be a good amount though. Probably closer to $50 for me.

  19. I get your humor, that doesn’t mean I enjoy every line you write. I think you spend too much time (or maybe its just recently) explaining jokes you’ve made and checking to see who was offended or annoyed. Write what you want on your blog but stop being so surprised when you get a negative response sometimes. Don’t apologize for something dumb you wrote ( I thought it was dumb but didn’t feel like it was worth commenting on) and then spend another paragraph explaining to people why you shouldn’t have to apologize. Its silly. Just pick one or the other. I’ll continue to read your blog as long as it continues to bring humor to personal finance the majority of the time.

  20. If you go to a comedy show, you will connect with a lot of jokes, and there will be some others that you make you uncomfortable, and others that make you angry. It’s pretty awesome the way that comedy (and acting in general) can have that effect. I just think that some in the personal finance crowd can be a bit too serious. Your posts continue to be real, and that’s what makes them stand out.

    I think your spending plan is a great idea. I’ll have to do something similar when me and the gf combine our finances one day.

  21. I knew when I read it you were in for some not so positive feedback….I know you are trying to be funny and most times it works. Not everyone was raised in a sarcastic household where we make fun of everyting…..just be you if readers don’e like it they can choose to not read your blog anymore…or they can comment and tell you you are a pig either way just be you!

  22. I love your humor, its one of the reasons I read everyday. Loved the ASU comment, being from Phoenix and attending ASU for a some time I can tell you there is some truth in the joke.

    The allowance idea is great, you hear it all the time about couples not lasting due to finances. I’m one of them, 4 year relationship ended because he was financially irresponsible. Instead of paying off student loans, rent, or his truck we had a WII, Playstation 2, and Xbox. We were getting a good bonus from work and he told me he wanted an XBOX 360, I told him if he got it we were over. I came home one day to see him setting it up, so had him move out within the next few weeks. We all have our different views on money, when in a relationship it can be difficult to mesh those views.

  23. I know you’re just throwing out metaphors for humor’s sake, because really, you can’t take a joke about babies and say it’s funny, then say if you mention menstruation it’s offensive. We crossed the line a long time ago, it’s way back there in the distance now! πŸ˜›

    In our household, we put money in a shared acct for bills and common goals/purchases, but the rest of our paychecks are ours to deal with, so I can spend $200 shopping if I want, or put $1,000 on my student loan – either way, it’s my prerogative (key music… NOW!)

  24. To pick on your PMS joke… I wasn’t exactly offended, but I wouldn’t say that the joke “registered” with me. I would guess a lot more than 2% of your readers could have done without the joke, even if only a certain number were actually annoyed enough to complain!

    I also agree with April above. First you spend half a post apologizing for offending people, then you spend the next paragraph explaining why no one should have been offended anyway. Maybe the offended parties should apologize to you for being boring humorless & uptight? (I’m exaggerating here, and I don’t really think any of this is a big deal. But if you are going to apologize, do it. If you aren’t, then that’s fine too!)

    To answer your question, we mostly do the “free spending” method, and it has been working fine. My husband is like you and rarely spends on himself. I spend on myself a bit more, but I’m very conscious of my spending habits. It has been working fine so far.

  25. Personally, I wasn’t offended, but the joke made me think “immature frat-boy.” Must be my own bias against frat boys. πŸ˜‰
    Next week DH and I will celebrate 13 years, and the allowance system has been great for us! I enjoy going out with the girls for coffee and spending in little fits and spurts, but he likes to save it up and buy big stuff. This way, I don’t freak out when he buys upgraded things for his car, and he doesn’t worry about the budget each time I come back from the mall. We each have a 100/mo blow budget, but clothes are not part of that budget. You need to rethink making her clothes come out of that budget. Clothes are a need, and professional looking clothes are important when you are a teacher. It doesn’t have to be a big budget (ours is $50/month), but it would allow for the replacement of clothes that get paint on them from a rogue kinder kid, or holes in the knees from falling off a bike. If she want something special, she could use her blow money to buy it if it is over the clothing budget. Alternately, she could save up clothes money month to month to buy what she really wants/needs.

    • “If she want something special, she could use her blow money to buy it if it is over the clothing budget. Alternately, she could save up clothes money month to month to buy what she really wants/needs.”

      I like that thought. The wants/needs thing isn’t always so straight forward. For example, I may need suits and ties for work, but I don’t need $600 suits and $100 ties (the same could be said for women’s clothes). I need a haircut, but I don’t need a haircut with a wash and a massage. I need a cell phone, but I don’t need a Smartphone. It would seem that there should be a base level for each need, and personal money should be spent if one wants to β€œboost” the need to a want level. For example:
      $90 Smartphone = $50 need (joint account) + $40 want (frivolous spending account)

    • Haha, frat boy. If only frats at my Alma Mater were cool. Instead they were equivalent to joining the chess club. I guess that’s what you get when you go to a private school though.

  26. Hi Ninja,

    1) Not offended. It takes a lot to offend me, and if there’s anything you say that rubs me the wrong way I just assume that you’re flat out wrong rather than being offended by it. *grin* (Just kidding! Mostly… πŸ˜‰ )

    2) I’m a lot more frugal than my husband is, so I feel ya. He spends too much money on bottled water, and on coffee, and on books, and and and… Thankfully, we have separate accounts for everything to prevent “How much did that cost?” conversations that you seem equally familiar with. We touch base at the end of each month to review expenses, see how we feel about our spending, and set financial goals (if any) for the next month.

    • I like it. Just write me off as stupid instead of trying to argue. Makes life easier for the both of us.

      So it sounds like you use the allowance system right? A predetermined spending allotment?

  27. Speaking as a female who has a period each and every month, I can tell you that I was in no way offended by your humor. Why? I just don’t see the big deal. There is truth in the fact that some people (including me) are more emotional with the fluctuation of hormones. I don’t really think it is funny, but I’m equally not offended.

    I have worked for my entire career (coming up on 10 years now) in a male-dominated field (I’m an engineer for a manufacturing company). The four years prior to that I studied in a male dominated field. There were classes of 80 people where I was one of 4 females. No big deal. Now I know there are people who HAVE experienced sexism, but I haven’t. I have done my job and excelled because I’m good at what I do. Not because of my anatomy or my lack thereof.

    My personal stance? -Isms will continue as long as we let them. Part of letting them is being offended when they do. I firmly believe that if I got offended each time someone assumed something about my job because I am female I would be promoting that sexism–even if from a defensive point of view. It is doesn’t bother me, why would it bother anyone else?

    End rant.

    Currently? We don’t spend ANY money outside of the budget because we are down one income and trying to pay off debt. All spending is discussed. It can be frustrating and even stressful at times, but we’re doing it so that in the future we don’t have to worry about it anymore. And we previously tried the allowance rule for each of us, but sucked at it because we didn’t have the rules nailed down well enough. Now we’re paying for it!

  28. I wasn’t offended, exactly, but it does does wear a little thin on the stereotypes. (As does a lot of your man/woman stuff, I find.)

    If you said it to me in person, I’d probably call you on it, or at least give you the face of “seriously, we’re making menstruation jokes” but I wasn’t annoyed enough to say anything online.

    • Oh and we have a $20/week allowance, to be spent weekly, biweekly, or monthly if we choose. It amounts to $80 each, most months though we don’t use that amount and it gets rolled into a payment for one of our debts the following month.

  29. In response to your reply above:

    Well our allowance system works slightly different. We each get $100 per week (but we take out $200 every 2 weeks as we get paid) and we have to pay our gas out of that money. Whatever is left is ours. I spend more that him is gas, my car is biger and I’m responsible for driving our son everywhere, so I probably use $40 per week in gas, and then have $60 to myself. I couldn’t imagine getting by on $75 per month, but then again I probably spend at least half my etra money on our son so maybe if it were just for me I would spend a lot less.

  30. Ok upon thinking about this more I realized the amount of money for “crazy money” is sort of dependant on a lot. YOu said GN gets $75 per month which I first thought was really stingy. And above I told you basically DH and I get $400 per month each, but we must pay gas from it. But then I thought about all the other stuff we pay out of it. For example we don’t budget in entertainment like a movie or dinner, etc, so it comes from this money. So I don’t know if GN and you budget for those kind of things, but if so, that would make sense that your personal money is less. Come to think of it, after I’m done buying small things for my son, and paying ameal here or there I really get no personal money at all myself! Damn, kids are expensive!

  31. Your humor does not offend me! My wife justifies her frivolous spending by buying everything on sale. She brags how it was 80% off. It doesn’t bother me because she knows how much she can spend.

  32. Saying that your friend made 3 black jokes (whatever his race) isn’t appropriate blog material. It says that you partake in racist commentary instead of denouncing it. Any idea what percentage of your readers are black? You need to step back from this subject and go back to money/topical life stories.
    If you don’t understand how that would offend, it’s because you are sheltered and immature- no fault of your own.

  33. Hubby and I have an allowance system. It was $20 each pay period, but due to some loss of income, we’ve reduced it to $10 per pay period. Yes, that’s low, and someday when we’re out of debt I hope we can raise it. But our individual spending habits are very evident with the allowance — I save mine up and he spends his immediately.

    And no, your humor does not offend me.

  34. I wasn’t offended, and actually, I had to read through your post to even see where you made the comment. I will say that it’s infuriating when Mr. Red or my dad makes a comment like that to me, especially when they do it in the middle of . Because it does feel like they’re trivializing my emotions. I can be upset about something whether I’m on my period or not.

    So, for me, it’s a desensitized issue. Being a woman, I’ve heard it so often that I just roll my eyes when people say it now. But the flip side of that is that it IS true for some women, even me. I can be crazy upset about something during the week before my period and realize a few days later that, whoops, I was just going crazy because of hormones. So… How can I *really* be upset about a joke that is true sometimes? πŸ˜‰

  35. I think we as a culture spend way too much time worrying about how one thing or another that someone said may be offensive to us personally or some other group. We all have a tendency to just take ourselves way too seriously, and I for one am tired of it. I’m offended that people can get so offended about something so silly. *sigh.

  36. I wasn’t “upset” by your joke, nor do I think you need to necessarily apologize, but I did read the original post as chauvinism. Writing something degrading to any particular “non-dominant group” is not the end of the world IMHO, and it doesn’t mean you are a sexist.

    This is YOUR blog; critical feedback is part of having a published work out there.

    And similarly, if you write only what will appease every audience member, you probably won’t get very far. πŸ˜‰

  37. I think you’re stinkin’ hilarious, so no I wasn’t offended by your pms jokes, or anything else you’ve written. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months and this is my first post :o) Just wanted to let you know I get your humor and think it’s great. Also, before leaving the house yesterday I ALMOST put on some scented hand lotion but stopped myself because I already had on perfume (just 1 spray) Just wanted to let you know your blog is changing the world! Congrats on the marriage. My hubby and I have been married going on 13 years and we got married when we were 19. Yay for getting married so young. We have 2 kids now (2 and 3 months) don’t wait as long as we did to have baby ninjas!

  38. I enjoy your humor, which is why I follow you in the first place πŸ˜‰ And just to show that gender roles are meaningless, in our household it’s I who pinches the pennies and doesn’t spend anything, and my husband who gets an allowance πŸ˜‰ (I’ve thought of trying to give myself one too, but there’s just always so many other places where that money could go!)

  39. I don’t have any problems with your humor, even the PMS quip.

    We have pretty much the same allowance system you guys do, including the lack of an allowance for my husband. He doesn’t spend much and when he wants something, he always checks with me first to see if we have the available funds. I get about $50 a month which is torture because it’s barely a pair of good shoes but credit cards and emergency fund… I don’t REALLY need another pair of shoes.

  40. We both have an allowance here – we call it mad money. All frivolous spending has been cutoff, though, as we realign our budget & pay off debt. When we use the system, it works better than sharing what we spent. I don’t get why he needs 3 eggnog milkshakes per week from a fast food joint that makes my stomach turn, and he doesn’t get why I need 3 pair of black shoes. Everybody gets money to spend on whatever they wish, no justification required.

    Also? I’m not easily offended. Plus, I’m a bit of a crab when I’m on my period so stereotype away!

  41. I do not live with my BF so do not have much to contribute to the finance aspect of this post.

    However, as a female I find your post hilarious and that is why I have been reading the blog for over a year. And as a female I can also attest that PMS is a bitch, so a little bit of truth in every joke. Keep on trucking!

  42. OK, really? I found absolutely nothing offensive about that comment or anything else you’ve written about. I think as a society we’ve let ourselves get to the point where we feel we have the right to not be offended by the comments or statements of others. If someone hurts my feelings or offends me it’s because I’ve LET THEM do so – too many people have lost sight of the fact that they are responsible for themselves and their emotions. It’s about time we all put our big girl panties on and get over ourselves.

    As for the allowance, I give myself one every biweekly paycheck. It’s been my saving grace because I will always have small expenses that add up and I am simply too lazy to track things like a soda at the drive-thru, lottery tickets, and vending machine junk. I budget about 50 to 60 bucks and the amount seems right for me.

  43. And that is how financial infidelity would have started if you hadn’t talked about it. Good for you ninja.

    Also, I think GN deserves twice that much. πŸ˜‰

  44. LMAO, I got a good chuckle out of it. It’s impossible to offend me though..so take that with a grain of salt.

    One time at a cross country meet, I told a friend/screamed to the entire team that I was so annoyed (about something) that I could eat a baby. Nothing like a good cannibalism joke to get everybody looking at you…

  45. We’re buckling down on our spending since I began staying home full-time with our daughter. February’s budget is the first with allowances – $100 each for my husband and myself.

    I think if I were in your shoes, I’d give myself the same allotment as GN. You can save from it if you want, maybe use it to buy something fun in the future for you or her!

  46. I’m only offended by the $75 for the allowance! It should be a bit more to account for the months when she might want to buy you a present and not want you to know about it. So I’d recommend rounding up a bit. We have separate accounts just for this purpose – it was too hard to keep a present a secret otherwise.

  47. Under $20 a month?

    Woah. Now THAT is control. I don’t spend a lot, but even when I worked part-time I’d spend more than $20 a month on myself. Either on books, dvds, and the odd clothing item.

  48. Ninja, I followed the link to find out what you said and I was surprised to find that it was a post I read a couple of days ago. I thought the comment was funny and it didn’t occur to me to be offended. And as I type this I have a bag of Hershey’s Hugs beside me because I am totally hormonal and grumpy. πŸ™‚

  49. We get $25 each a week. It started when hubby smoked and i didnt, i thought it was unfair he got an extra $25 a week to “waste”, so i gave myself a matching allowance.

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