Ah yeah, let’s put away the budgets, hide the Roth IRA’s, and throw out the financial mumbo jumbo. Today, we are going to talk about something more important… Nudity. That’s right, straight up butt-nakedness. Why nudity you ask? Well, yesterday, I read an interesting article over at CNN titled “13 Celebs who said ‘No way’ to Playboy.” Here’s a snippit about one of those 13 celebs…
6. Lohan’s been there, done that
“Playboy” has been trying to get Lindsay Lohan naked for ages, most recently increasing her offer from a rumored $700,000 to $900,000 last year. One of Lindsay’s representatives said that Lindsay would “be happy to do the cover, but no nudity… If there’s nudity, then the answer’s no … She’s not going down the ‘New York Magazine’ road again.” I suppose the naked Marilyn Monroe-inspired shoot did cause a bit of a kerfuffle for Li-Lo
Surprisingly, there are quite a few celebs who gave ‘Heff’ the cold shoulder. This got me thinking, “What would I do if someone offered me $500,000 to drop my drawers”? I decided to make a list of the pros and cons of being in Playboy (or I guess in my case Playgirl).
- I instantly become half a million dollars richer.
- It would be the easiest money I’ve ever made.
- I’d be able to do something really neat like pay off a single mom’s mortgage, feed a few thousand homeless people, or sponsor a group of high school kids to summer camp.
- I could finally buy that unicorn I’ve always wanted…
- If invested properly, I’d be able to retire by the time I was 30 or 35.
Do you know how sweet it would be to knock out saving for retirement that quickly?! Pretty freaking awesome if you ask me, but with every pro, there is a con…
- I’d let down, or at the least, horribly embarrass my entire family.
- Girl Ninja would never go for it, so I’d have to violate her request to stay clothed.
- I’d effectively be selling my soul, since I don’t support pornography (not even ‘tasteful’ porn).
- I’d definitely end up regretting my decision if I did do it. Kinda the same reason I’ll never get a tattoo. There’s no going back.
- The world would come to an end… Literally. I’m pretty sure any woman that sees a naked picture of me, would spontaneously combust. Therefore, eliminating the female species as we know it. No females = No more Babies, and No More Babies = End of the world!!!
As much as I would love to have $500,000 in the bank, I’ve got to be honest and admit I am too big of a prude. I could never “bare all” for some quick cash. So I join the ranks of Lohan, Alba, Justin Beiber’s mother, Lady Gaga and say “No thank you” to Heff and the gang. I’ll be keeping my clothes on for the time being (throw in a case of Dr. Pepper though, and you might have yourself a deal, Dr. Pepper makes me do silly things).
How much would it take for you to consider making a deal with Playboy? $100,000? $500,000? $1,000,000? What would you do with the money? What would keep you from making a deal (family, embarrassment, etc)?
p.s. I want to hear from all of you (yes, even you, creepy-person-that-has-never-commented-on-my-blog-before), I’m really curious as to how many people would consider making a deal if the price was right!
p.p.s. Am I the only one that thought it was crazy someone wanted to pay Lindsay Lohan nearly $1MM to take her clothes off? Heck I’ll pay her to keep them on.
p.p.p.s. My old college dorm had a six person shower room with no stalls or privacy screens. We learned to get comfortable being naked around each other real quick. By the end of the school year, my dorms motto was “Unity through Nudity.”