Would you get naked for $500,000?

October 28, 2010 · 82 comments

Naked Ninja

Ah yeah, let’s put away the budgets, hide the Roth IRA’s, and throw out the financial mumbo jumbo. Today, we are going to talk about something more important… Nudity. That’s right, straight up butt-nakedness. Why nudity you ask? Well, yesterday, I read an interesting article over at CNN titled “13 Celebs who said ‘No way’ to Playboy.” Here’s a snippit about one of those 13 celebs…

6. Lohan’s been there, done that
“Playboy” has been trying to get Lindsay Lohan naked for ages, most recently increasing her offer from a rumored $700,000 to $900,000 last year. One of Lindsay’s representatives said that Lindsay would “be happy to do the cover, but no nudity… If there’s nudity, then the answer’s no … She’s not going down the ‘New York Magazine’ road again.” I suppose the naked Marilyn Monroe-inspired shoot did cause a bit of a kerfuffle for Li-Lo

Surprisingly, there are quite a few celebs who gave ‘Heff’ the cold shoulder. This got me thinking, “What would I do if someone offered me $500,000 to drop my drawers”? I decided to make a list of the pros and cons of being in Playboy (or I guess in my case Playgirl).

Pros:

  • I instantly become half a million dollars richer.
  • It would be the easiest money I’ve ever made.
  • I’d be able to do something really neat like pay off a single mom’s mortgage, feed a few thousand homeless people, or sponsor a group of high school kids to summer camp.
  • I could finally buy that unicorn I’ve always wanted…playboy unicorn
  • If invested properly, I’d be able to retire by the time I was 30 or 35.

Do you know how sweet it would be to knock out saving for retirement that quickly?! Pretty freaking awesome if you ask me, but with every pro, there is a con…

Cons:

  • I’d let down, or at the least, horribly embarrass my entire family.
  • Girl Ninja would never go for it, so I’d have to violate her request to stay clothed.
  • I’d effectively be selling my soul, since I don’t support pornography (not even ‘tasteful’ porn).
  • I’d definitely end up regretting my decision if I did do it. Kinda the same reason I’ll never get a tattoo. There’s no going back.
  • The world would come to an end… Literally. I’m pretty sure any woman that sees a naked picture of me, would spontaneously combust. Therefore, eliminating the female species as we know it. No females = No more Babies, and No More Babies = End of the world!!!

As much as I would love to have $500,000 in the bank, I’ve got to be honest and admit I am too big of a prude. I could never “bare all” for some quick cash. So I join the ranks of Lohan, Alba, Justin Beiber’s mother, Lady Gaga and say “No thank you” to Heff and the gang. I’ll be keeping my clothes on for the time being (throw in a case of Dr. Pepper though, and you might have yourself a deal, Dr. Pepper makes me do silly things).

How much would it take for you to consider making a deal with Playboy? $100,000? $500,000? $1,000,000? What would you do with the money? What would keep you from making a deal (family, embarrassment, etc)?

p.s. I want to hear from all of you (yes, even you, creepy-person-that-has-never-commented-on-my-blog-before), I’m really curious as to how many people would consider making a deal if the price was right!

p.p.s. Am I the only one that thought it was crazy someone wanted to pay Lindsay Lohan nearly $1MM to take her clothes off? Heck I’ll pay her to keep them on.

p.p.p.s. My old college dorm had a six person shower room with no stalls or privacy screens. We learned to get comfortable being naked around each other real quick. By the end of the school year, my dorms motto was “Unity through Nudity.”

1 Jake Stichler

I started cracking up as soon as I read the title of this post. One of my coworkers constantly proposes questions like this to us on a daily basis. Usually disgusting (you don’t wanna know), but for example, yesterday was “for $50, would you lick the parking lot?” It was one of the few times I answered yes. And I’ll do damn near anything for easy money, so that ought to tell you the kind of questions he usually asks.

Oh, another one yesterday was “For $50, would you dry hump this oil tank for 10 minutes while making orgasmic sounds?” My answer was yes on that one as well.

2 Michelle

if I didn’t know you live elsewhere*, I’d swear you work with one of my brothers. They’ve been paying each other the same $50 back & forth to do stupid things for a decade. Awesome!

*from your blog, I’m not a creepy stalker.

3 Ninja

Haha, I can see it now. “Okay, now I’ll pay you $50 to fart in your hand and smell it.” Deal. “Okay, now I’ll give you that $50 back if you try let me punch you in the face”…

4 Ninja

I’ll put up the $50 if you put up the video :)

5 Jake Stichler

For what, licking the parking lot or humping the oil tank?

6 First Gen American

My immediate reaction is no, I wouldn’t do it for any amount of money. When I was 16, a sleazy photographer was trying to get me to take nude photos while I was doing a modeling shoot. When I said no, he wanted me to pose in my underwear instead. Um, still no. Needless to say, my aspirations to try modeling as a quick way to make a buck fizzled shortly after that.

What a horrible industry. I was not cut out for any part of it. I’m really not surprised that so many nude photos surface of celebrities years later. There is a lot of pressure to get naked. As screwed up as Lindsey is, I like that she has a line she won’t cross.

7 Ninja

Wow, that photographer is a douche, and a perv, and a pedophile! Lindsay has crossed the line before with a Marilyn Monroe shoot, so I’m surprised she wouldn’t do it again.

8 Beth M

I’d totally do it for 500k. It would take me ten years to earn 500K compared to a 10 hr. photo shoot. I’d pick the shoot, easy. Plus, playboy is so not “porn” in my eyes compared to all of the other raunchy stuff out there. I wouldn’t be “in the act” of doing anything except looking like a beautiful, naked lady. I don’t want to show everyone my naked body normally, but for 500k I wouldn’t have an issue.

100k, that would take more thought. I could get that in two years of my clothes on. hmmm.

9 Ninja

It’s not so much the magazine that is raunchy, but the thought of what men and underaged boys across the country are going to be doing with that magazine that would freak me out.

10 Michelle

bump that to 750K and no shots revealing my face…I’d do it, but it would have to be a chubby-chaser mag, not playboy :)

11 Heidi

lol, love this. Maybe you and I can do a spread together in that chubby-chaser mag and push them up to a cool million.

12 Ninja

No way jose. Face has to be in the shot! I think a lot of people would consider doing it if they could remain anonymous. So are you in or out with a face shot?

13 Michelle

OUT. I love and fear my momma too much! Ah, well…I guess I do have some standards. ;)

14 Mysti

Heck ya, I would do it for 500k. I am totally NOT a prude, so it wouldn’t phase me. That said, I would do it for a tasteful situation (and I do consider Playboy tasteful). Art, Playboy, etc. Not some sleezy magazine that shows me sticking various objects in various orfices or anything like that.

But in reality….I am not really at my fighting weight…..I doubt Playboy will be tracking me down. :)

15 Ninja

Would you be weirded out when you had kids and they found out mom was a playboy model back in the day? I don’t think I would want to explain that to my 12 year old? Haha, that could be an awkward conversation. What’s the lowest you’d do it for? $100K?

16 Mysti

Let me put it this way…my hubby and I sleep nude, and the kids have seen us naked just about every day. So, nope….wouldn’t weird me out. If Playboy wanted me, jiggly and all…I would do it for free just for the honor.

But in this arena….for 100k…..I would answer the door naked.

17 Mo D.

Hmmmm… interesting question…. Given how I don’t think Photoshop is advanced enough to tone down my “I-could-beat-JLo-in-a-big-booty-contest” butt, my first reaction would be no, not even for 500K… now… with that in mind, if I could get my hands on a tax-free 50K to get my whole body lipo’ed and lifted, then we’ll talk. For now, I’ll stick with the “Hole in The Face” on Facebook ;-) I’d do the Playboy photoshoot tomorrow for a cool million, but no face shots!

I love the “for $50 bucks, would you…” questions! LOL!! I’m waiting on my buddy to take me up on my offer of $20 to grow a set of mutton chops and post it as his FB Profile pic. Back in my day, you could offer a $10 bet, and people would likely take you up on it… inflation’s a b*tch!!

18 Ninja

Haha. Inflation, ruining bets across America :)

19 Jennifer

It would take at least 1mil for me to consider and probably 1.5mil to actually go through with it. My husband would probably do it for 10k (maybe less).

20 Ninja

Sounds like you hubby may do it for free, or even pay them for the opportunity?

21 Sandy X

Re: Th pros of getting butt-booty-naked.

What’s $500,000 after taxes? Would you still do it for the after-tax amount?

22 Sandy X

Re: The pros of getting butt-booty-naked.

What’s $500,000 after taxes? Would you still do it for the after-tax amount?

23 Everyday Tips

Interesting question.

First, I don’t think Playboy would be interested. Is there a magazine out there that is interested in photgraphing a 43 year old woman who has had 3 kids and has surgery scars? (Knee and shoulder…) Mad Magazine generally deals with drawings- maybe it would have to be on the inside of the back page where you fold the picture over to reveal a totally different image? Maybe the picture could evolve from me to a beautiful model, just by folding the page a certain way?

I don’t think I could do it for any amount of money. The embarrassment to my kids would be awful.

24 Mo D.

ET, I think you and I must be twins separated at birth! LMAO about the Mad Magazine quipe… that’s awesome!

25 Victoria

I wouldn’t do it for Playboy, because I also don’t like pornography. I wouldn’t want to do it when the purpose of it was to thrill some pervert I’ve never met.

I wouldn’t have a problem getting naked if it was in a completely a-sexual situation, however in a society with such a fetish for clothing / no clothing, that just doesn’t exist!

26 Kate

I’d do it for the right price. I’m not a prude and I’m pretty sure my family would get over it. The only thing that would *really* faze me would be the impact on my future career prospects, so the money had better be good.

27 Ninja

Never thought about future career prospects. Good call!

28 Sophie

I’d be first in line, and to be honest, I’d do it for less than $500,000. $50,000. Yes, I can be bought. Then again, I love my body (and no, I’m not skinny or a supermodel – I’m a mom too!). I’m comfortable in my own skin and I love sensuality. Everybody should see me naked!

29 Makky's Mom

LOL, I love your attitude girlfrriend! I’m SUCH a prude and way too critical of my body, but I can appreciate your confidence!

30 Kevin @ Thousandaire.com

I’m absolutely certain they wouldn’t put me in Playboy if I paid them $500k

31 Sophie

If that’s truly you in this picture….ummm….I’d buy the magazine. Just sayin’….:)

32 Makky's Mom

Nope, not me, for any amount of money. This gal is keeping her clothes on!!!

33 Jason@LiveRealNow

3 beers and a sincere dare. :)

34 Heidi

For half a mil, I’d absolutely do Playboy. Hell, I’d probably do it for whatever amount would pay off all our combined debt, so somewhere north of $100,000. I completely agree with the previous comments that said that Playboy is tasteful. I’ve seen Playboy and I’ve seen worse, and to be honest, a lot of Playboy shoots are really fun and cute. But after having lived in Japan and spending plenty of time naked at the public baths and hot springs, I don’t really have the embarassment about being naked that many other have.

Plus, in all technicality, I’ve already had topless shots taken that have been seen by strangers. It was required to get surgery approved by the insurance company and you do what you have to do. So at this point, I’m not really squimish at all.

35 Sarah W.

yes. my family would get over it. playboy is tasteful in my opinion

36 Ninja

I think this tasetful thing is relative. Compared to hustler? Probably, but still why do guys buy the magazine? Not for the articles. For the naked chicks. You don’t find it a little weird that guys would be doing “gross” things to pictures of your naked body? Ain’t nothing tasteful about that. I see your point though, Playboy would treat you like a woman and not an object like other companies in the industry.

37 Rogue

i have no issue with men doing gross things, if I took fully clothed sexy pictures I still run the risk of having men do ‘gross thing’ and since I have in the past i’m going to guess it has happened. Heck, if you are a moderation attractive female there is a good chance some guy you once knew or currently know has done ‘gross’ thing to the though of you or even an image of you.

Yes, it sounds weird and nasty and is a little off putting, but its a fact of life and it doesn’t bother me

38 Heidi

Of course men buy the magazine for naked chicks. But lets be honest, how many guys have done “gross things” looking at that infamous poster of Farrah Fawcett of watching a Britney Spears video and they were technically both clothed.

And personally, I’d rather have my body appreciated than reviled. Maybe that sounds strange, but for many women, it could possibly be seen as a self-esteem boost to be viewed as beautiful enough that men want to see you naked.

39 Heidi

Of course men buy the magazine for naked chicks. But lets be honest, how many guys have done “gross things” looking at that infamous poster of Farrah Fawcett or watching a Britney Spears video and they were technically both clothed.

And personally, I’d rather have my body appreciated than reviled. Maybe that sounds strange, but for many women, it could possibly be seen as a self-esteem boost to be viewed as beautiful enough that men want to see you naked.

40 leslie

As a female, this definitely is not a new question or thought. Any remotely attractive female can easily make money off of her looks and body without too much effort. I have thought about this type of thing a lot and actively considered it several times but finally decided that regardless of the amount, I would feel dirty forever having/using that money.

The biggest con for me would be living a normal life after. As someone with a career, I would constantly be worried about a male coworker or, even worse, my boss, seeing these photos or recognizing me from them! It is difficult enough to be taken seriously at times in my field, and participating in something like that would definitely not help!

I would also feel dirty as a parent, when I have children. I would be worried they would find out somehow and that would teach my daughter a million terrible things.

Lastly, I respect my body. I am far from a prude but still the thought of disgusting men jerking off to my nude body just sounds…. well pretty darn gross!

41 Rogue

Yes I would do it, if it was playboy and it was a half million. I could use the money and it would be awesome to have a tasteful nude shoot in playboy. Something that makes me feel like I’m very attractive and good looking. I would have no issue with my kids finding out because I think its important to be comfortable with ones body and sexuality and I could teach my kids that as well as show them how hot mom used to be. As stated above I’ve got no issues with the thought of men waking off to my photos. In fact I’ve done topless photos in the past (for my husbands eyes only, not getting paid) and I know what he does with them.

I would not however up the anti and do any ‘sexual act’ I will concede that playboy is technically ponograpy because of what its used for, but anything past that is off limits no matter what the cash. Tasteful nudes for money is not the same as sex or masturbating for money. And while I do not begrudge those who chose that life still fully understanding the consequence, its not something I would feel comfortable with or explaining to my children and family.

On the other end of that coin I did used to work in Adult Retail and I have no issue peddling that smut i just don’t want to be in it.

My husband also said he would totally pose for half a mill in playgirl or something to that nature, because of the money and because if they really wanted him, he must be good looking.

42 Sara

Pfft, LiLo is broke, she’ll cave one day. lol.

I’d never do it, partially because I am not quite toned enough to prevent it from being embarrassing, but mainly because I’d feel like a hooker. Being paid to take your clothes off is one step away from being paid to perform sexual acts. :P

43 Trina

No thanks.
There will always be someone willing to take their clothes off for money, whether it be for a ‘classy’ mag like Playboy, to strip, for porn or for prostitution. Where does it end? I actually did have a girlfriend who posed for Playboy our sophomore year in college and (although I doubt she got 500k for it), it definitely did not change her life for the better.
I don’t judge those who choose to do these things, it is just not what I would chose for myself and my family. I can honestly say that I would be devastated if my daughter (or son) ended up saying yes to the money in 18 years. There is more than one way to earn a buck and the quick and easy way isn’t always the moral way.
Just my two cents.
Loved everyone’s comments today too! Love a good laugh on a Friday morning;)

44 Nicole

ARGH. You totally STOLE our Sunday post. (Well, not really unless you love our blog so much that you hacked into it…) Anyway, our prices for playboy stripping will be available on Sunday, in case anybody wants to offer.

45 Ninja

Maybe I did hack, after all, I am a Ninja :) Look forward to your Sunday post!

46 Ryan@theFinancialStudent

Yes (well, Playgirl in my case). No hesitation. I don’t have any moral issues against porn. Ladies (and guys too I guess ) can do what they want with my image.

47 Larry

I would be more than happy to pose naked for any amount of money so long as a blanket was covering me head to foot.

48 Ninja

Only you Larry, only you :)

49 Laurel

It’s not the actual posing for the photo that would be the deal-breaker for me, it’s the ramifications that would follow. I wouldn’t want my kids hearing out it, my family would be embarrassed, co-workers, etc. Easy money isn’t always that “easy.”

50 dave k

so whats the obsession with retirement? this is something i really struggle to understand…

51 Ninja

The option to retire early would be sweet. It doesn’t mean I’d sit on my butt and do nothing, but it would be like the coolest emergency fund ever. I could lose my job and pay my bills for the rest of my life. Retirement = Freedom!

52 Lisa

I would do it for more like 750,000. That’s my price. And frankly, if you don’t pursue a public career after the shoot, nobody’s going to remember in a few years that you were in one issue of playboy once.

It’s not the magazine that freaks me out, it’s the weird stuff that goes on in the mansion. That I would definitely not do.

Ninja – why is this only covering Playboy? Where are the mens thoughts on Playgirl???

And frankly, I’m not responsible if someone chooses to perform “sexual acts” with my image in front of them. Guys do the same thing with pics of girls in magazines.

53 Ninja

Sadly, I don’t think I have any males that read my blog…haha. I’m quite pathetic. If any dudes read this, I’d love for ya’ll to chime in :)

54 DianaC

Damn right I would. Firstly, they would have to make me look like a Playboy model, so obviously nobody would even recognize me and I’d get the cash. What an awesome deal!

55 Crystal @ BFS

Great point!

56 Rina

I’d do it. For a cool million.

57 dave k

i hate to be the bearer of this news, but surprise surprise girls also masturbate. whoops i said it!

for all you PG-ers, “naughty things” are not reserved to just men.

i am surprised that so many of the readers here are ill at ease about that.

58 Anony-mouse!

The reason why “naughty things” gets put on men, in this context, is because statistically I think they are more likely to masturbate with the aid of pr0n. As a straight female, I rarely use it when I do “naughty things”. I am not sure about the use of pr0n for the lesbian population.

Taking that into account, though, I really would not *any* stranger jerking off/rubbing one out to me in that way.

If someone sees a photo of me at the beach or running in the summer and happens to get turned on by it, there is little I can do about that. But posing nude in a porno mag is just asking for that type of behavior and attention.

59 Newlyweds on a Budget

at first I was all “hell yeah I’d get naked!” but then when I realized it was playboy …yeah, definitely no.

the money sounds so enticing but I don’t know if I would ever get over the insecurity aspect of it!

60 Crystal @ BFS

I’d do it for the $500,000 (I’d do it for $250,000 but let’s stick with half a million please). Naked, sure. Anything other than naked, nope. I’d use $70,000 to pay off our house and invest the rest. That would allow me to be a full time blogger and quit this crappy job!

In regards to your concerns:

1. I wouldn’t tell my family (other than hubby) and I sincerely hope they don’t read Playboy. If they do, it would be hypocritical to get mad at me. I wouldn’t care.
2. My husband would be the kicker but I think he’d be okay with it for $500,000. We’d both be able to retire so he wouldn’t have to deal with a lot of “I’ve seen your wife naked”…our friends and family wouldn’t say it and we could just blow off strangers.
3. I don’t care about Playboy – naked only – porn. It’s the harder stuff that icks me out.
4. I don’t think I’d regret my decision since I’d be able to afford the life I want.
5. All the men (or women) who see my naked pics would be blinded by the sheer whiteness of my skin and chubbiness of my body so they wouldn’t recognize me in the future anyway, lol. Seriously though, I do not have a Playboy body, so it’s not like a bunch of magazines would be sold. I don’t care what guys would do with my picture as long as I don’t have to know about it. I can drown a lot of “ick factor” with $500,000…

Show me the $500k Playboy! I’ll take Lohan’s spot!

61 Techbud

Ninja -check your in-box, photo and address of where to send check enclosed.

62 FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com

Genius. :)

63 FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com

Hmm.. would I do it for playboy? I would for a BILLION.

Everyone has a pricetag

Got a good story for you, I don’t know where I read or heard this, but some guy was asking a woman reporter: If I paid you $100,000 could I screw you in the butt?

She said, *horrified* NO!!!
He replied, “No? How about $200,000? $500,000?”
To each answer, she kept saying: “NO NO NO NO!”
Then he said: “One million?”
She paused.
Him: “Ahh.. see? You’re thinking about it.”

I can make millions, I’m not worried about that. It’s the billion that would be unattainable. :)
That’d be my pricetag. I’d consider it for a billion.

64 FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com

P.S. I am so writing about this in the next 3 months. Probably in February, seeing as all my posts are backed up for scheduling. Look for it then! LOL

65 Ninja

You have 3 months worth of posts written! You’re crazy. I currently have 0 posts ready…haha. We do things differently I guess. Let me know when your Feb post goes live :)

66 Nicole

We swapped out our Sunday post on quick weeknight foods (now appearing late November) for ours, yet still got beaten to the punch.

67 Money Funk

Heck ya, I’d do it for a free lunch! I’ve always wanted to be in Playboy for many years.

Playboy is classy. I hope my family would be proud. and when I get old and frumpy (oh wait, think I’m there) my hubby could just look back on that edition to say, “that’s my girl”.

Then I can only hope that I would become part of Olivia’s playboy sketches – she has some great work.

Now if it was Hustler, um…No.

68 eef

I would definitely take my clothes off for playboy for 500k. I think my family would think I was stupid if I didn’t!

Then I would stay home all day and draw stick figures and crochet or something. No one would ever recognize me because I’d just be a crazy recluse.

I don’t know… When I was younger some people tried to encourage me to do some risque modeling, but I wouldn’t because I used to think I would need to keep my reputation clean and would get a good job and didn’t want anything to come back and haunt me. Now, at nearly 25, I’ve realized I’m probably always going to be a secretary and my reputation is pretty irrelevant.

I guess it would still be embarrassing if my family saw photos, but if I got $500k for one photo shoot, I think they really would support it. haha

69 Aloysa

I would do it in a heartbeat. I would do it for ANY amount Playboy would pay. The only problem is that my husband would not understnad it and would be VERY upset. Also, I probably would lose my job. Other than that… nothing would stop me from getting naked and taking 500K, paying off all the debt we have, including mortgage, helping out my parents and got to Africa on safari. Here… I said it.

70 Evan

I get paid to take off my clothes? And a half mil at that? Yes. Period. Here I am taking off my clothes for free for years! I am a chump

Get the airbrush out I haven’t lifted in years lol

71 Mauricio

I don’t know why anyone would offer me money to pose nude at all but for 2 million I would probably do it. I know my family would be really upset but considering that I would be investing that money in paying off their loans and debt, they would probably get over it pretty quickly. Maybe? Additionally, I would be putting that money to good use, community projects i.e scholarship foundation, homeless shelters, essentially combating problems in my hometown. I guess I’m fine as long as it’s put to good use.

72 Financial Samurai

I’ll do it for $2 mil no prob! lol.

73 Ninja

you better have a 12 pack for that kind of money :)

74 mauricio

Even my back has abs. :P

75 MyMoneyMess

First off, no one in their right mind wants to see me naked so there would never be an actual offer tendered for that amount.

If there was, hypothetically, I couldn’t do it. Actually I don’t think I could do it at any price. It just goes against everything I believe in. It would upset my friends and family – pretty much everyone I know. No amount of money could make me want to do that.

76 Natasha

hmmmm….$700,000. I just would. :)

77 Becky

I would do it for $500,000 (and probably less). I’ve already had “intimate” photos taken professionally (for my husband as a wedding gift). They made me feel empowered about my body, and I do NOT have a great body. I think that a skilled photographer can make anyone look good, and so I would totally do it. My family would understand (and they would probably do it for that much money too!). The idea of being able to pay off all of our debt and buy a house free & clear is too good to pass up. As someone else said, I don’t care if people are using it to do “naughty” things, as long as I don’t have to hear about it. And probably most people would forget about it almost as soon as it happened.

78 sandra

For $500,000? H*ll yes! As a pudgy grandmother, and a living breathing example of the effects of gravity and time on the human body, I’d be honored if anyone wanted to see me naked! DH would be dead – not from shock, from laughter! He’d get a kick out of it. After they ‘airbrushed’ and artfully arranged the rolls of fat and hanging appendages, I’m sure it would be a delightful work of art…think Picasso and the cubist period. No one would recognize me anyway!

79 Sandy @yesiamcheap

HELL. YES. Just tell me where and when and make sure that I get the money transferred to my account in advance.

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