An updated throwback that should piss half of you off…
I’ll never understand why some married couples keep their finances separate (yes, that is me quasi-judging some of you). Maybe it’s the traditionalist in me, but when I asked Girl Ninja to marry me, I asked her to marry ALL of me. This includes (but is not limited to) my sense of style, my obsessive compulsive behaviors, my smelly farts, my sucky artwork, and of course my finances.
Before our wedding, I wrote a about how Girl Ninja was not only marrying me, but also my student loan (I think at the time I still owed about $10,000 to Sallie Mae). Whether she liked it or not, my debt was now her debt. A handful of commenters, however, disagreed. They felt that since I had acquired my student loans before I even knew Girl Ninja existed, they were solely my responsibility to pay back. One comment read, “I agree also that GN should have no part of your student loan. That was contracted before your marriage and is solely your obligation.”
Alright commenter, I’ll play your game. Going in to the marriage I was making $63,000/year. Girl Ninja was hovering around the poverty line bringing in about $20,000/year. My income was over triple hers. It seems that if I followed the logic of the commenter above and kept our finances separate, I would then have three times as much influence in our financial decisions, or at the very least, should be allowed to spend three times as much on miscellaneous categories like entertainment and dining out. If she has no obligation to my pre-marriage debt, what right does she have to my pre-marriage income? You can’t have your cake and eat it to.
I know Girl Ninja had no legal obligation to my debt, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t have a marital obligation to it. The second she said “I do“, my debts became her debts. My income, became her income. And my love for California burritos, became her love for California burritos…oh wait…not so much on that last one, but you get the point.
I don’t even know how separating finances in a marriage would work. Do you literally say “Alright honey, you need to transfer $50 in to my checking account ’cause I just paid our cell phone bill”? Do rent payments get split right down the middle since you both share space equally or does the larger income earner have to pay a larger portion? How would it have even been possible for me to pay my debts back separately, since any money put towards that debt effects us equally regardless of whether it comes out of my account, her account, or a joint account? What is the point of separating accounts from your spouse?
Someone enlighten me?
p.s. if you weren’t aware, I actually ended up paying off my student loans about a month before our wedding, so Girl Ninja never had to worry about Sallie Mae
p.p.s. I’m super pissed at Girl Ninja right now as she just committed the cardinal sin in the Ninja house. She put the toilet paper on the roll facing the WRONG way! Ugh, it ruined my night