Making love with money is my favorite kind of romance.

Call me a lyrical genius, or call me a pathetic white boy making his best attempt at hip-hop, but I enjoy throwing down an occassional song or two on garage band. I have a whopping two tracks on my “Debt Punchers” CD the first track is over at Budgets Are Sexy and the other song is on my page found right HERE . Every once and a while the creative juices flow out of me and I end up with a pretty solid lyric like “The name of the game is Personal Finance, Making love with money is my favorite kind of romance.” While money may not be your first thought for a romantic relationship, I bet it’s pretty high up there for most of us.

I learned in one of my psychology courses that there are three phases to a typical relationship: The “I need you. I want you. Oh baby. Oh baby” phase, the “I just need some ‘me time'” phase, and the “Wow, we work together quite nicely” phase.

I need you. I want you. Oh baby. Oh baby:

Human to Human:
You know this stage, sometimes referred to as the “lust” phase. It’s when you first meet that special someone and you fall head over heels for them. You focus all of your attention on that person and sometimes other friendships, or other aspects of your life, suffer as a result.

Human to Money:
You get that first paycheck and you realize you have the power to spend, so spend you must. You are in love with the concept of being able to buy things. You see something you want so you buy it. You may make an irrational decision or two (buying a new car, or a second flat screen tv), but you don’t care ’cause you love lust money.

I just need some ‘me time’:

Human to Human:
After about six months of dating, you begin to realize the rest of your life has been on hold. You kind of miss having poker parties (guys) or knitting parties (girls?). You tell your significant other you need some “me time” and that’s when all hell breaks loose. This is when the fights begin to occur and we question whether or not this relationship is worth enduring. Sadly, this is the phase in which the majority of breakups occur.

Human to Money:
You finally start to realize all your careless spending is biting you in the booty. It’s the first time you face a conflict with your poor spending habits. The creditors start calling and you get in fights. You are faced with a decision , push through and fight for a healthy relationship or throw in the towel and give up. Unfortunately, many people don’t care enough to persevere the bad to get to the good.

Wow, we work together quite nicely:

Human to Human:
You have survived some pretty serious fights and at the end of the day you realize your life is better with that person than without. Things get easier. You’re not creepishly obsessed with each other anymore. You have learned the proper balance between the two of you as a couple and the two of you as individuals. Wedding bells are in your future.

Human to Money:
Congratulations! You made a smart choice in deciding to wrestle past the credit card bills and car loans. You have established a game plan and realized money has feelings too and it demands respect. You are in a continual courtship with cash (take that alliteration!).  For the rest of your life, you appreciate and respect how money can change your life for the better. Loaded Roth IRA’s and ballin’ 401k’s are in your future.

Maybe it’s a stretch to compare a relationship with your significant other to your relationship with money, but I bet if you look closely you’ll find some shocking similarities. Making sweet love to your money (not to be taken literally you sicko) can impact your life in ways you never imagined.

What stage are you in?