I lost my virginity

June 6, 2010 · 18 comments

Oh my goodness. I lost my virginity yesterday! Well, let me clarify. What I meant was, I lost my “turning-in-a-rental-application-with-girl-ninja” virginity yesterday. And let me tell you, it was freakin’ exciting! That’s right, we pulled the trigger and found a place we want to call home.

A little over a week ago, I shared about a 1bdrm condo we really liked. I tried to make a “low ball” offer on it, but had no luck negotiating. Girl Ninja and I decided the place was overpriced, so we continued on our house hunting extravaganza. We’ve probably looked at 10 or so apartments/condos over the last two weeks. Through the process, we’ve learned a ton about each other and I thought I’d share a little about that here.

The first, and most obvious, thing was this: Girl Ninja judges a place based on its ‘cuteness factor’. I judge a place based off of its “How much is this gonna cost us” factor. There were a few places she really liked, that I fought hard to avoid because I wasn’t comfortable with the value. Stainless steel appliances are attractive and all, but last time I checked they don’t refrigerate my food better or pop my popcorn louder. I felt bad putting my foot down, because it denied Girl Ninja a place she really liked.

Don’t get me wrong though, Girl Ninja definitely had a vote in this decision. In fact, last week we looked at a place that I fell in love with. I thought it was a great value and reasonably cute. While she agreed it was a good price and relatively nice inside, she couldn’t get over one small detail… it was in the ghetto. Haha, okay maybe not the ghetto, but it wasn’t in the greatest location. She hated the fact there were no streetlights on the block. It gave her an eerie feeling and told me she didn’t feel safe there. I wanted the place, Girl Ninja didn’t.

It was at this point, we realized something we should have figured out much earlier: We need to quit being selfish and understand that if we BOTH aren’t in love with a place, it’s time to move on. Instead of me trying to convince GN the apartment I liked was only ‘kinda sketchy’, I should have just been like “You don’t feel safe here? Okay. Time to keep looking.” If I would have figured that out two weeks ago this apartment hunting gig would have gone a lot smoother.

Yesterday, the condominium gods above rewarded our patience as we found a place we BOTH love. It’s within our budget (actually $25 less), has views of the water from the living room, a brand new kitchen, two gated parking spaces (which is super rare here in San Diego), and just an overall positive energy (isn’t that called fung shui?). It’s definitely a place I’d be proud to call home, and Girl Ninja shares that same sentiment. Oh and did I mention this condo isn’t in the ghetto? Score!

Like giddy school children, GN and I walked out of the complex and realized WE JUST FOUND OUR FUTURE HOME. We think. Nothing is for sure yet as we’ve only turned in our rental application. Assuming my mother didn’t steal my identity and rack up a ton of debt in my name, or that Girl Ninja isn’t a closet QVC shop-a-holic. We should get approved.

It totally puts me at ease to know Girl Ninja and I both love this condo equally. I allowed my emotional attachment to a few places to interfere in our relationship. I was a bad ninja. A very bad ninja. If GN didn’t stand her ground, we would have ended up living in the quasi-ghetto. Which means she would probably have been bitter at me every time she came home. And if she was bitter at me, she would probably boycott “Operation Make Baby Ninjas” otherwise known as “Operation Bow Chick a Bow Wow.” Happy wife, happy life… right? :)

1 Red

Close! It’s “feng shui.” ;-)

I’m so glad y’all found a place you both love! I hope you get it! And you’re right – being married is a tough transition from the compromise of “convince the other person to say yes” to valuing the other’s opinion as if it was your own. If Mr. Red isn’t comfortable with something and has good reasons for it (like GN clearly did), I have to say, “Alright, let’s talk about other options.” It takes some adjustment. You’ll get there. :)

2 Mneiae

Congrats on finding a place to live that you both like! How long are you planning to stay there?

3 Everyday Tips

Hey Ninja, I am glad it only took you two weeks to realize you gotta compromise if you are going to be happy.

Congrats on your (hopefully) new place. Safety is one thing I will always spend money on.

4 Young Mogul

Glad you found a place and you learned a few things about your relationship/compromise in the process.

5 Larry

I shudder to think what the title of your blog post is going to be the day after the wedding. :)

6 Freckles

Come on Larry — don’t go for the obvious — this is Ninja we’re talking about after all. I predict it will say “Dammmnnnnn, weddings are expensive” with a subtitle of “Free wedding gifts ROCK!”

7 momninja

Never stole your identity….but hmmmmm they day is young. Glad you found a place! Hope you get it and then the fun will begin….2 parking spaces is SWEET and a new kitchen to hold all your free gifts will be great too.

8 Heidi

It is good that you are learning the compromise lesson early. Though I’m of the firm opinion that compromise is a lesson you never stop learning. DH and I agree perfectly well on housing, cars on the other hand… Congrats on your almost place!

9 SS4BC

Wow, I can’t believe you were able to get all of that in one place Ninja! That’s awesome. San Diego is so hard to find a quality place at a good price. Well done!

Hope you get it!! If not, try to get on the waiting list!!

10 Ninja Killer ahahaha

Yay! So happy for you two that you found something you BOTH enjoy. That way when you do fight, no one will have a grudge… just thinking realistically, that’s all. :)

11 Stephan

good news and a good lesson you learned in regards to how you now have to think of not just your wishes but both you and girl ninjas. im sure its gonna help you in the long run having learned this important part about moving in together and living together now and not after your honeymoon! Hope it works out, and keep us posted on the application.
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12 Budgeting in the Fun Stuff

I’m so glad we weren’t the only couple to go through this!

I was the one that was willing to compromise safety for cash (I almost had us living in the highest crime area of Houston for $399 a month) and hubby-to-be wanted to find something that looked relatively nice (not new appliances nice…but he was anti-ghetto).

We actually ended up finding a 550 sq ft 1 bedroom apartment in a good part of town for $399 a month a few weeks later. A 100 sq ft sacrifice was worth it to get a newer place in a nicer part of town. Point to hubby. :-)

Glad you both are learning to compromise early on…that’s the biggest lesson to learn for a happy marriage! Congrats on (hopefully) finding your Ninja home!

13 Angela

How great! I will be having this same mission once I return from study abroad next year only in San Francisco AND with only me, myself and I. So it may be a bit easier with just me, but a little harder in San Francisco. This is the third story of this kind I have heard and it gives me hope. You’re blog is awesome.

14 VA

Haha – the guy who most recently bandied about the line “happy wife happy life” is now bankruptcy. The girl who overturned the table in Real Housewives of New Jersey & her husband filed for bankruptcy – $10.8M in debt. Sometimes you DO have to put your foot down!

Have fun with your social experiment!

15 Angie

Good thing to learn now. When DH and I were engaged and he was looking for an apt., we had NO money and found an ad for a 1 bed apt. in Escondido for $300. When we pulled up to the address, I told him that if he rented the place, I would not be able to visit him. Cars up on blocks, windows boarded up, we’re talking seriously ghetto. Fortunately, he understood and we ended up finding a studio for $350 with 1 gated parking spot. When we got married, it was pretty snug, but at least I felt safe.

16 youngandthrifty

Yay! congrats!

My boyfriend and I have been place-hunting too, it’s pretty stressful making the BIGGEST FRIGGIN DECISION OF YOUR LIFE!! =) haha (well financial debt decision anyway)

It’s hard compromising!! Kudos to you for compromising with girl ninja, she’s a lucky lady to have a guy who knows “where its at” lol =)

17 Small Town Runner

Here’s a suggestion for you. Start looking at houses about a year before you actually think you want to buy. My hubby and I did that and it really helped us to get on the same page about what we both liked and didn’t. Thankfully, we both fell in love with the house we’re currently in, and we’ve been there for eight years (and will be there at least until we get it paid off.) Plus, it can be fun to go to open houses on Sunday afternoons. At least, it was for us. Might be pure torture for you.

18 Cleveland Stamatopoulos

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