Well I spent almost my entire weekend on the couch yelling at my TV. I love me some Olympics and I love me some USA. In fact, I’m only getting to writing this blog post now (11:45pm) because I just finished watching the US girls gymnastics team compete. I seriously love the Olympics so much that I will watch any sport that has a US athlete in it, even if I have no idea what is going on….yeah I’m talking to you fencers.
Anywhoozle, While I was watching the Olympics my phone chirped at me and I noticed I got a blog comment from a known PDITF hater. Said reader wrote (amongst other things):
“I don’t think you want kids at all. I don’t think you want to get divorced, either. But honestly, if you don’t want kids 100%, you need to let her go and find a man who does. It’s not fair to her.”
“Have you ever considered I DO want children. Just not right now. Exactly the same way I feel (and write) about a buying a house. It’s possible to want things in the future. I don’t expect you to believe me, but there is not much I can do about that.”
Then I get this epic email response:
“Babies are foreign objects to me.”
“I have never changed a diaper.”
“It’s in my best interest to get her to hold off.”
“Babies make me nervous.”
“I have no idea how much work caring for a child is.”
Yeah. That sounds like someone who can’t wait to have kids to me. Not that I care. I’m only approaching this as someone who …okay fine, kind of finds this amusing, and as someone who made the decision not to have children when I’d barely reached adulthood. It’s just funny how your wife is so ready to have kids and you so don’t want them. Because see, someone who wanted kids would get married and have kids. You’re trying to avoid having kids. Simply put, you don’t want them.
Comparing something like a house, that you can sell or walk away from, to a person who may well outlive you and who will demand all of your resources for potentially decades…is ridiculous.
I will share a little insight. I have changed diapers. It’s not pleasant. I kind of envy you, to be honest. I’ve never had kids, but from having siblings I can say: they will quickly deplete your money, they will keep you awake at night, they will cause you a lot of stress and unhappiness, and they are messy and will smear their peanut-butter-covered hands all over your new coffee table. They will get juice stains and crumbs in your new car. You will become an exhausted, burnt-out zombie whose friends will say “Wow, he used to be so much fun. What happened?” You may even grow to resent your children. You may begin taking it out on them. They in turn will resent you. And you’ll probably have to deal with that for the rest of your life.
I don’t even really like you, so I don’t know why I’m giving you the benefit of this information. Having kids is not something to be taken lightly. It’s not “just what people do” after getting married. It is not something to go into half-heartedly, and it’s not something to bribe your wife away from with vacations and presents. It’s something you should want completely. In other words, you should be aching for children as you read what I am telling you. The absence of children should be a horrible hole in your life. You don’t want children with all of yourself. Therefore, I would tell you not to have children. There are already too many people in the world. Your sure-to-be-resented spawn’s existence is not only unnecessary but foolish. You don’t want kids. I know this. You know this.
Please stop fooling yourself. If your wife decides to divorce you, it will be much easier to get over that than to get over having kids. I know you’re Christian and blah blah divorce is a horrible thing, your parents didn’t divorce so therefore nobody does…but guess what. Sometimes, that’s life. Things don’t always go how you want them to.
Realize that you don’t want children, and you will feel better, I promise. Grow up, be a man, and tell your wife, so she can decide if she wants to stay with you or whether it will end your marriage. Just do what’s right, for once.
Epic email right? That’s why I love blogging so much…. It keeps my life interesting. Oh, and Girl Ninja, in case you weren’t already aware…. I’m not ready for kids yet
p.s. I am going to be out-of-town all next week. If you have a blog (or don’t have a blog) and want to write a post to be published on this site while I’m gone shoot me an email and let’s make it happen.