Yeah I’ll be the first to admit it: I kind of get carried away when it comes to planning out my future. For the last 24 years of my life I’ve been responsible for one person…me. Now that I’m gettin’ hitched , I guess that needs to change. Apparently, Girl Ninja actually wants to have a vote in all decisions regarding our future… I know you are probably thinking “Wow that’s really selfish of her” and ya know what…I agree 😉
Seriously though, if I want this marriage thing to work out, I desperately need to get comfortable with sharing my life with another person, particularly in respect to planning our future. Girl Ninja may not be as financially savvy as I am, but that doesn’t mean her vote doesn’t count.
After the numerous comments I received on yesterday’s post, I had a rude awakening. I’m guilty of over thinking and undervaluing Girl Ninja’s feelings.
Here are two of those comments…
I agree with MattyIce, this should be a joint decision, i think its time to involve Girl Ninja in your purchasing decisions as this will affect her also.
I think you are being too ‘planny Mcplannerson’. Allow for just a smidge of flexibility.
What the heck do you mean I have to include Girl Ninja in my purchasing decisions? I’m the one that reads Personal Finance blogs, I’m the breadwinner, I’m the alpha male. Oh wait, what’s that? Those statements are all about me, and once I get married, ME becomes US. Girl Ninja is entitled not only to her opinion in our purchasing decisions, but it is my responsibility to actually LISTEN and RESPOND to her requests. If I put her in a situation where we live in an unsafe/dirty apartment because it “saved us a couple bucks” then I have failed as a husband. Consider this my promise to work harder at compromising and loving Girl Ninja selflessly.
The other comment hit the nail on the head. I’m the epitome of a Planny McPlannerson. Ask me how much I plan to have come retirement, I’ll tell ya six million. Ask me how much I want in the bank before we buy a house, I’ll tell ya $100,000. Ask me how many babies we are going to have, I’ll tell ya 2.5. Ya see, I’m a planner. Always have been, always will be. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t allow for at least some flexibility and spontaneity in our relationship. How depressing would our lives be if everything went according to plan? The adventure of not knowing what the future holds, is something I’m really excited about. I need to temper my desire to figure everything out, and allow nature to run its course.
Basically what I’m trying to communicate is this… I suck at being a husband. Fortunately, I’m not a husband yet, so I still have some time to change my nasty habits.
Thanks to all of you who dropped me a line yesterday and put me in my place. Sometimes I need a swift kick in the booty. I wonder if this is common in most relationships. Is one person usually a planner and the other more free spirited? Is the ability to compromise something that can be taught or just learned over time? Life would be so much easier if Girl Ninja just wanted to give me back massages and make me sandwiches all day (lol for sexism).