I’m grumpy

January 26, 2011 · 34 comments

I must be on my period or something, because I spent the majority of yesterday being Mr. Grumpy Pants. I’m rarely one to be a downer, but I just can’t seem to get out of this little funk. Perhaps I should go pop a Midol or something, Will that help? Anyhow, seeing that I’m really in no mood to write, I figured it would be best to give myself a little slap in the face and re-post an old article I wrote titled Punch Debbie In The Face. Enjoy :)

Screen shot 2009-12-07 at Dec 7, 2009, 11.33.55 PM
Now I’m not one to support physical violence towards women, but I’ll tell you right now if Debbie Downer ever finds her way around my neck of the woods, I’m gonna knock her out. For those of you that don’t know Debbie, let me introduce you to her. She is the person that points out the one stain on your carpet after you just cleaned your whole house. She’s the girl that that reminds you of your love handles after you just got back from a run. Debbie is a professional mood killer. Debbie is a downer.

I’m a huge believer in the power of positive psychology. Penn State defines positive psychology as the scientific study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive. I define positive psychology as an inherit desire to be AWESOME. I consider myself to be a pretty positive ninja. For example, I’m POSITIVE that I hate NEGATIVE people.

I have a goal to have $6MM in my bank account when I retire. I can’t tell you how many people say “It’s nice that you ‘think’ you’ll have that much, but what if….you lose your job…. your accounts don’t provide the returns you anticipate… you have unforeseen medical issues ” Umm excuse me, don’t be bringing your “what ifs” around here, I don’t need them. Maybe the stock market will crumble, maybe I’ll lose my job, and maybe I will contract gonorrhea of the mouth, but I’m sure as heck not going to live my life waiting to see if those things happen.

Look here Debbie Downer, I have goals and your negativity can’t keep me from reachin’ them. Do you all know someone that seems to be a professional mood killer? Someone that always finds something to complain about? How do you deal with them? I just don’t have the patience to tolerate it and I just tell them if they want to be negative they need to go do it somewhere else. Life’s too short, don’t be a Debbie Downer.

{ 34 comments }

1 Mo D.

When I was in my early 20′s, I had a friend that wasn’t happy unless there was some form of drama going on in her life. At first, I admit, I was thoroughly entertained by her soap-opera-like existence, but after a while, her negativity was sapping the life blood right out of me. I had to “divorce” her; I was sorry to have to lose a friendship, but I had to look out for my own sanity. Ran into her a few months ago… she hasn’t changed… glad I did what I did 20 years ago.

2 Mo D.

And don’t worry Ninja… we all sport Gumpy Pants once in a while ;-)

3 TwinsMama

I too know people like that. They either live for drama or are afraid of peace. Some people need to feel something is “going on”. Then there are also those who are fearful of you going beyond where they can see themselves going. So they resort to downplaying or rejecting your plans of success…

When I told others I was going to start my consulting firm…most people (even family) told me not to leave a “secure” job for the “maybe” of consulting. No one at my age makes it far in consulting was also the theme.

What I came to realize is not that people didn’t want me to succeed. Although some may have felt that way. It was more-so people projecting their fear of success and/or failure on me and my plans. I learned (like it sounds like you have) to tune them out. My firm was a huge success and propelled my career.

Sometimes it is best to show people rather than tell them. Ninja you will have those dollars in your account, perhaps even before you retire! The key is to surround yourself with like-minded people and learn to tune out the haters!

4 Kevin @ Thousandaire.com

I’m glad I don’t have these people in my life! It would drive me insane. In fact, I think I’m a pretty positive person, but I surround myself with so many positive people that I think I’m the downer.

5 Emily

I find your comment that you “must be on your period” (and therefore grumpy) rather offensive. There’s a streak of mild chauvinism that runs throughout many of your posts (particularly when you make blanket statements about women–i.e., “all women love chocolate” or when you relay anecdotes that suggest your wife is a stereotypical Shakespearean shrew), and most of the time I ignore it and focus on the actual message of your post. But to equate grumpiness with the menstrual cycle (i.e., women) is sexist, stupid, and simply unnecessary. You could have easily blamed your bad mood on a full moon, and then there would be no bones to pick. If your comment was an an attempt to create a “voice” in your writing, well, I dislike the voice, and I imagine others will too.

6 Larry

“a stereotypical Shakespearean shrew”

May I point out that Kate in The Taming of the Shrew is a rather atypical Shakespearean woman. Many of Shakespeare’s women are to one degree or another high-spirited, intelligent, and compassionate – Portia in The Merchant of Venice, Rosalind in As You Like It, Beatrice in Much Ado about Nothing, Viola in Twelfth Night – and are often superior in character to even the best of the men in those plays. Of course, Shakespeare also created evil harpies like Lady Macbeth, Goneril, and Regan, as well as vapid saps like Ophelia in Hamlet, but all that goes to show is that his women cover a wide range of personalities.

7 Trina

Larry, your comments are literally the reason I read this blog. Scratch that, so as to not upset the chauvinistic author ;), your comments are the second best reason for reading this blog:)

8 Ninja

What if I said Larry was the only reason I blog :) his comments are just that good!

9 Larry

Awwwww.

10 Ninja

You’re right. I do make blanket statements about ALL women, but I don’t do it because I’m sexist. Maybe, I’m stupid, but definitely not sexist. When I joked about being on my period, I only did so, because my mood rarely changes, and I know that hormones can run rampant during the menstrual cycle. If that came across as “all women that have ever existed are super grumpy while menstruating” then I owe you an apology.

It appears most of my readers, women included, have been able to see the sarcasm and weren’t offended. I’d like to say that I will try and tone it down, but as you said my chauvinism is mild, which I would hope translates into “it’s not to be taken seriously.”

11 Michelle

I like Ninja’s levity.

12 SS4BC

Whenever someone says I’m “on my period” I flip.

Of course… I’m usually on my period… which is what makes me even more mad about the comment. ;)

13 Larry

Quite right. I am generally grumpy even when I’m not having my period.

14 kates

Emily, I’m with you, especially when you say, “There’s a streak of mild chauvinism that runs through many of your posts…. and most of the time I ignore it.”

I also ignore it, but just fyi– you’re not alone in noticing it. Thanks for voicing this feedback!

15 Sophie

Thank you, Emily, for saying what I was thinking! I was offended by this as well.

16 Jade

I agree. It’s not quite enough to stop reading the blog, but it’s definitely noticeable — it sticks out in an otherwise really good, funny blog.

17 ThisEmily

This Emily happens to think you’re hilarious and I did snickers at downer response to this post. Sterotypes are sterotypes for a reason. 99% of women are grumpy and miserable on their period. Nothing about it is happy, happy, joy, joy. Do your thing,Ninja.

18 Ninja

Why thank you Emily. I overlooked the irony of the “downer” comment on my post about downers. I guess it’s worth a good chuckle at the very least.

p.s. I think you’re sexist now too?

19 Kasey

@Emily…Must be that time of the month…huh? Chill out lady.

20 Dr Dean

Hey Ninja, it is a scientific fact that many women are irritable during the time right before menses. But making fun or light of it is dangerous….

Maybe in fairness, do a “Donny, Doug, or Duane Downer” post.

21 Sara

LOL @ “maybe I will contract gonorrhea of the mouth”

But for real… I may be cynical, sometimes complain a lot, or question things too much, but I absolutely am a positive person in general, and I detest when people are like this. My brother is like this at times, and it drives me insane! I actually now work with someone who is like this, and you can’t even ask her a question without getting some sort of response that makes you want to stab your own eyes out. Negativity is contagious, and people should stop being so eager to spread it around!

22 Larry

I’m going to speak up for the opposite side. While there’s a lot to be said for the power of positive thinking, there’s also a lot to be said for prudence and caution. The reason one saves 6-12 months of expenses in a liquid “emergency fund” (or, I would say, just an old-fashioned savings accounts) is precisely because there are going to be situations involving job loss or unreimbursed medical problems no matter what age you are. The reason one diversifies an investment portfolio is to offset the volatility the results from putting everything into stocks, so that one’s losses are reduced in a downturn.

We have a tradition of anti-negativism in this country. Remember Spiro Agnew and his “nattering nabobs of negativism,” and Reagan calling the Democrats “the party of no”? (Now it’s the Democrats returning the favor to Republicans.) Excessive negativism no doubt puts a damper on people’s drive and high spirits. But reckless, blind positivism is just as dangerous. Maybe if we had listened to the negative scientists complaining about the O-rings before the Challenger disaster, or the negative engineers who cautioned the levees won’t hold off the coast of New Orleans, or any negative engineers who advised that the Deepwater Horizon wasn’t safe, then we could have avoided some major national tragedies.

Three cheers for negativism.

23 Ninja

Hip hip hooray!

24 krantcents

It is funny that the names change but there always people who are negative. I personally think they are afraid if you become successful that things will change. That may or may not happen. I stay away from those people!

25 Ryan@TheFinancialStudent

We got ourselves some Debbie Downers in the comment section, Ninja.

26 Larry

I am not a “Debbie” Downer, Ryan.

27 Ryan@TheFinancialStudent

Oh I wasn’t referring to you. Honest! Your comment made a good point; there is a middle ground.

28 Steph

Great post. Me and Debbie have been fighting recently. Her retarded minions hang around the people I love most sometimes as well. Screw Debbie. I’ll stomp her out… but I need a little more backup at times.

29 Jeff @ Sustainable Life Blog

Nice work ninja – and for the record, I dont think you’re sexist. Also, love ss4bc’s comment.

30 mary m

hope you feel better Ninja. By the way, if you ever did have a period, you’d realllllly know grumpy,

31 mary m

financial afterthought, why in the world would feminine protection items NOT qualify as a FSA reimbursable expense? Some things are beyond my comprehension!

32 ilml

I, like Emily, was offended by the comment. I notice the chauvanistic theme running throughout your blog as well. I don’t think you’re sexist. From what you write of your mom and your wife, you obviosly respect and love women. You’re brand of stereotypical, old-timey humor just shows that you just don’t know better. It isn’t so pervasive that I won’t read your blog, but it is a turn-off.
You just don’t know that it’s not funny, is all.

33 Jacq @ SMRM

Given the large number of things you want to punch in the face and your general grumpiness, it’s my guess, that – yes, you are having a hormonal episode – but probably specific to your gender, not a female estrogen based one.
Check out http://www.theirritablemale.com
I’ve read that one of the most common responses to “irritable male syndrome” is denial that you’re the problem – must be everyone else that needs to be punched in the face…

Previous post:

Next post: