I admit it. I’m a huge dork. I’m constantly running numbers through my head. Last night, as Wife Ninja was making her best attempt to fall asleep (at 9pm!), I asked a handful of questions about her work schedule. While I was trying to beat around the bush, Wife Ninja knew exactly what I was doing. I was trying to count how many days she would work this month, so I could then calculate what her paycheck would be. She made it pretty clear she just wanted to go to sleep and it was time for me to stop bothering her.
This isn’t the first, and definitely wont be the last time, my obsession with numbers has caused a hiccup in my 6 week old marriage. No, I’m pretty much a pro at making the wifey feel overwhelmed by money. She loves to shop, and I hate it. So it makes sense to have her do the grocery, household, and decor shopping. While she enjoys the shopping aspect of it, she HATES the coming home part. Every time she would return from a shopping trip, I’d ask “How much did you spend?”
I asked what I thought was a harmless question, but soon discovered it was anything but. Wife Ninja felt as though I didn’t trust her to spend our money appropriately. I, however, wasn’t asking because I thought she’d go blow all our cash, but because I like to keep a running balance of all of our credit card charges in my head. I didn’t even think about the fact that it could be interpreted as me smothering her. Yeah, I know. I’m a big dumb dumb head and should have been more sensitive, but hey I’m still learning here.
Last but not least, the burrito factor. What is the burrito factor you ask? It’s a currency system I use. Here in San Diego, they have this tasty treat called a California burrito. It is essentially a Carne Asada burrito with one special ingredient. French Fries!!!! I promise you it’s not as gross as it sounds, and it is nowhere near as weird those Pennsylvanians that put french fries on their salads…
Anyhow, back to the burrito currency. I can get a California burrito for $5 at the local taco stand. Not only is that sucker scrumtrulescent, but it also fills me up. Now, whenever I go out to eat and look at the menu, I run the burrito factor through my mental calculator. It looks a little something like this… “Okay, this salad is gonna cost me $12.50, which is the same price as 2.5 California burritos. Plus the salad is probably only going to fill me up 50%. So that means this salad is gonna cost the equivalent of 5 California burritos to get full. Death to salad!”
So ya see, there are times where money shouldn’t be on the mind….like when your wife is trying to go to sleep I guess it’s pretty easy to be “financial to a fault.” Do you have any silly examples of your crazy financial/number habits? Or do you have your own “burrito factor” system (i.e. a Starbucks factor or Video Game factor)?