Yesterday’s post confirmed my hunch that most people find fiscal responsibility and attractiveness at least somewhat related. Most of us would date a med student with $40,000 student loan bills before we’d date Trendy McTrenderson who had a $20,000 credit card bill. Not too surprising.
But then I got to thinking, if we agree relational chemistry is at least partially dependent on financial stability, at what point do we discuss said stability?
Should we cut to the chase and get a financial snapshot of our potential mate on the first date? How about the third date? Or is that conversation not needed until you fall in love?
Girl Ninja and I were slow movers in every aspect of our relationship. It took me six months of intense pursuit before I could
force convince her to date me. I didn’t kiss her until our third month of dating. It took 1.5 years for her to tell me she loved me (when I had told her the same thing at seven months). And we didn’t…well…you know… until we got hitched last August, after dating for four years.
Our finances were no different. We kept things pretty quiet for most of our relationship. In fact, it wasn’t until I proposed (after 3.5 years) that I finally gave her full disclosure of my financial situation. I just didn’t think she needed to know how much debt (or savings) I had until it was time to plan the rest of our lives together.
Perhaps I’ve answered my own question. Maybe finances need not be discussed until you plan on combining finances? After all, why does it matter how much debt (or savings) your significant other has if you aren’t necessarily sure their finances are even going to impact you.
For Girl Ninja and I, we didn’t have our first real money talk until we were ready to tie the knot. When did you have yours? At what point do finances become a necessary topic in the dating scene?