I can’t believe all the crap you women buy. It’s unbelievable. Girl Ninja and I are heading to Palm Desert, CA in a few days for Thanksgiving and we decided to do carry-ons for the short getaway. Since TSA restricts liquids to a maximum of 3oz per object, we had to head to the store to get some travel sized toiletries.
Look, I have no problem with GN wanting to be sanitized, beautified, and lotionized, but after she grabbed her fourth and fifth product I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, homegirl picked up some travel shampoo, conditioner, face wash, body wash, body lotion, and face lotion. Are you kidding me? Really? Is all that necessary?
Maybe it’s a guy thing, but when it comes to cleanliness I only need one product. Shampoo. Who needs body wash, or face wash, or lotion, or conditioner when you have a bottle of Cucumber and Green Tea Dove Shampoo? I just rub the shampoo around my head until it gets soapy and then proceed to use that soap to clean the rest of my body. Heck I even use it to shave. Works like a charm, and by my precise calculations saves me A TON of money each year.
I’m convinced IKEA would go out of business tomorrow if the female population went extinct. As GN and I discuss our future home furnishings, there are few things we agree on. We need a bed, a couch, and a TV. We don’t need 98 different glass vases (filled with seashells) sitting on the bathroom counter. Nor do I care if my wall is painted white, off-white, eggshell, or ivory.
And don’t even get me started on decorative pillows. I mean do we really need to buy pillows that we aren’t actually allowed to use? “What do you mean I have to take them off the bed and put them in a trunk before I can go to sleep, only to wake up and have to put them back on the bed again?” Ahhhhh!
Men shop with a purpose. Women don’t.
Let’s say John wants to buy a new shirt for work. His wife Tara, also needs a new dress shirt. They both have the same objective, but their process to completing the goal is usually very different. Before John even gets in his car to go to the mall, he already has an idea of what color and style of shirt he wants as well as what store he’d prefer to buy it from. John walks in to Banana Republic and five minutes later comes out victorious. He got his shirt.
Tara on the other hand, drives to the mall with three of her best friends. She gets caught up in “girls day” and after three hours of shopping, two new pairs of shoes, a salad from Cheesecake Factory, a new toaster oven from Crate & Barrel, and a tall non-fat vanilla latte from Starbucks, Tara heads home. Later that night, she shows John what she got at the mall. It’s not until this point that she remembers the reason she went shopping in the first place: for a shirt. “Oh well” she thinks, “I’ll just go back tomorrow.”
MEN: Anything I’m missing, or that you’d like to add?
WOMEN: What are some stereotypical guy things that get underneath your skin? Now is your chance to even the playing field 😉
note: Yes I know this whole post was dramatic, stereotyping, and probably offensive to some. Get over it. My blog is called Punch Debt In The Face, and in case you didn’t know, I should almost never be taken seriously.