Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Let’s face it. We are all liars. We sometimes say things we don’t mean for the sake of saving face. I was always told honesty is the best policy, but I’m afraid that simply isn’t true. Sometimes ya gotta lie. And here are a few situations where I have..

Babies:

Am I the only person in the world that thinks 95% of newborns are gross looking? I mean a squished head, splotchy skin, awkward hair, and random fat deposits don’t come to mind when I think of the word “cute”. But for some reason, we are forced to pretend like our friends babies are. Don’t get me wrong. I have a friend (who reads this blog) whose daughter is legitimately a beautiful baby, but I also have a friend (who doesn’t read this blog) whose child is….how should I put this nicely…weird looking. Would I ever tell them that? Heck no. I may think “Good lord what is that thing”, but out my mouth comes “Ah, she’s so precious.”

People that make dumb choices:

This is a tough one to communicate without sounding like a judgmental jerk face, but I’m gonna do my best. I’m talking about the person that just bought a new car, but two weeks earlier was complaining about how broke they were. Or the person that has $100K in undergrad loans, but decides to get a masters in some random field, only because they don’t want to work, not because they actually want to use their graduate education. These people frustrate me, but I am rarely in a position where I can call them out on their stupidity. This old blog post is a perfect example of how I felt obligated to pretend I was excited for a friend that bought a new car, when really I thought she was crazy!

Job Interviews:

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I walk in to an interview and just make up random skills and life experiences, but I’m not saying I don’t 😉 Seriously though, a job interview is your one chance to sell yourself to your future employer. Is a little withholding of the truth so bad? What about embellishing a tad to make yourself look better than you actually are? Don’t act like you haven’t done it before. I guarantee you have. Take for example the infamous interview question “What’s your biggest weakness?” Did you really tell them it’s that you are quasi-lazy and surf the internet and read PF blogs during the day (kinda like what YOU are doing right now). Or did you make up some mumbo jumbo saying, “Well, my biggest weakness is that I work really hard and sometimes this affects my personal life.” Yeah, your clever response isn’t fooling anyone.

I’m hoping some of you will humble yourselves and share a few areas of your life where you feel like telling a fib every now and again is actually the RIGHT thing to do. Under what circumstances do you lie?

$100 for Happiness

What items, for less than $100, can you buy that will greatly increase your quality of life? Here’s what I’ve come up with…

1. A great pair of sandals. I put my first pair of Rainbows 9 years ago and have never looked back. Totally worth the $60ish bucks.

2. Foam mattress topper. If you keep your eyes peeled, you can find some screaming deals on memory foam mattress toppers. Girl Ninja and I took advantage of one such Costco bargain and have never slept better. Even the worst mattresses feel like heaven when a three-inch memory foam pad is on top.

3. Mach 3 Razors. These freaking things are expensive. I’ve been trying the dollar shave razors for the last couple months, and although they are dirt cheap, they suck infinitely more than the Mach 3. In fact, the Mach 3 razors are so good, GN has stolen mine a time or two when she shaves her legs.

4. Nice pens. I’m a G2 Pilot kind of guy (anyone else know what I’m talking about?). It has the perfect amount of bleed to gel ratio. It rolls across the paper ever so gently and improves the readability of my handwriting a million fold.

5. Curved shower curtain bar. Nothing is grosser than having the wet shower curtain lining graze against my naked butt-cheeks as I bend down to clean the dirt between my toes. I’m not suppose to feel dirtier by showering, but a standard shower bar makes me feel just that.

So reader: What items, for less than $100, greatly increase your quality of life?

 

I need a personal assistant

Screen shot 2009-11-17 at Nov 17, 2009, 12.08.28 AM

So I was driving home last night and the host of the radio show I was listening to proposed a question to all of his listeners. I thought it was kind of an awkward question. This is what he asked: If you could get paid to do something you already do on a regular basis, what would pick? Some callers chimed in and said things like “Get paid to go to the bathroom every morning” or “Get paid to clean my apartment.”

I thought the question kind of sucked, becuase I still wouldn’t want to clean my apartment, even if I got paid for it. I would have asked a different question. “If you could outsource one of your common tasks, what would you outsource?” This my friends is a better question because it’s much more realistic. No one is ever going to pay me to clean my apartment, but I could hire someone else to do so.

Then I got to thinking, when I’m stupendously rich what would I legimimately consider outsourcing? Here are a few things I would definitely have someone else do for me…

1) Grocery shop.

I hate it. It stresses me out. To many items on the shelf. Not to mention the variation in prices. One applesauce will cost $2 and the one right next to if $5. I then start trying to figure why is the other one over twice as much? Is the $2 one that gross? Should I risk buying the $5 one? Oh no, my heads about to explode, I can’t make a decision.

2) Drive me places.

If you haven’t noticed, I’m not the best driver as demonstrated in this accident and this stupid move. I kind of have a tendency to run in to other things. If I had someone else drive me around I would totally save money simply because I wouldn’t be able to run my car in to things anymore. I could also be more productive and read the news, write a blog post, or make phone calls while my chauffeur was driving me around.

3) Do my dishes.

You know when you eat a super big and super good meal. All you want to do is lay down and watch TV afterwards right? Well I can’t because the dishes (and Girl Ninja) are taunting me from the kitchen. I’d let them sit, Girl Ninja can’t stand it. I would totally outsource my dishwashing duties to someone if we had the means.

Ah, a boy can dream right? What are some mundain tasks you have to do frequently that you would love to pay someone else to do? Mow the lawn? Wash your car? Clip your toenails? What would you outsource? Drop me a line and let me know.

Things that make me cringe.

1.
buying car

2.
crashing car

3.
credit limit

4.
private school

5.
extreme couponers

6.
plagiarizer

Click image above for more info.

7.

retirement

8.
financial blogger

Wanted to do a post like this for a while now, was it enjoyable?

Let’s get to know each other.

Get excited y’all cause it’s time we participate in another “get to know each other” exercise today. You remember those pesky elementary school quizzes where your teacher would give you a sentence that had a blank space in the middle of it? You were suppose to pick which word best fit in the blank space to complete the sentence?

Well, I figured we could bring out the 3rd grader in us, and do something similar. Whadya say…are you down like a clown from China town?

Please read the following paragraph…

Hi, my name is blank. I currently work as a blank and make around blank per year. I really blank my job. The scariest thing to me about personal finance is blank. If I had a financial do-over I would go back and blank. One thing most people don’t know about me is blank. I think that blank is/are the coolest thing since sliced bread. Twelve months from now, I hope to be blank. The most non-mortgage debt I’ve ever had was blank and today I have blank amount of debt. Okay, enough of this silly paragraph, it’s time I go blank so I can blank.

Now, copy and paste that paragraph in the comments section below and replace all the blanks with words of your choice. You can fill out as much (or as little) of the paragraph as you want. Here’s my completed fill in the blank…

Hi, my name is Ninja. I currently work for your Uncle Sam and make around $80k per year. I really enjoy my job. The scariest thing to me about personal finance is buying a house. If I had a financial do-over I would go back and not have majored in Psychology. One thing most people don’t know about me is I sweat profusely from my armpits before public speaking… like an obscene amount! I think my calculator watch is the coolest thing since sliced bread. Twelve months from now, I hope to be in a bigger place. The most non-mortgage debt I’ve ever had was $28K and today I have NO debt. Okay, enough of this silly paragraph, it’s time I go to bed so I can wake up and read all your fun responses.

Your turn….

Puppy Love

Was catching up on Facebook last night when I saw this status update from a high school guy that has been dating his girlfriend for about two months.

Screen shot 2013-02-04 at Feb 4, 2013, 11.06.00 PM

Kids say the darndest things.

Punch Secrets In The Face

A few years ago, I decided to make a blog post that resembled a very popular website, PostSecret.com. If you aren’t familiar, PostSecret is a community art project in which random people like you, mail in post cards containing deeply personal confessions. My first post like this, “Share your secret”, remains one of my most popular articles. Since it’s been about two years since we’ve done this, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to run this little social experiment again.

Here are some PostSecret confessions that caught my eye…

You can’t help but be interested right? There is something about being vulnerable that just feels good. So, I’m hoping you will, once again, participate in Post Secret PDITF style.

The rules are simple. Drop a comment in the section below with one secret related to finances, money, family, life, etc that you haven’t shared with anyone. I recommend you comment anonymously or under an alias, but it’s really up to you how you want to be identified.

Here are some of the secrets shared by my readers last time I did this…

  • I’m contemplating losing one of my part-time jobs so I can be eligible for welfare
  • I think people who complain about money are too lazy and stupid to make more.
  • I resent my mom because she abused my child support money and doesn’t pay for any of my expenses now, leaving it all up to my dad.
  • I never told my parents that I was so in over my head during my first few years of college I donated plasma just to eat. I had too much pride to accept help from anyone, so I sold plasma to put a few bucks of gas in the car for a weekend trip home and used the rest to eat out of vending machines for a week. Until the next week, when I’d do it all over again.
  • I secretly loath stay-at-home moms. Nothing about being cooped up in a house all day with kids sounds appealing to me. Problem: my husband expects me to do that when we have kids.

This really is a great opportunity to not only share your secrets, but to understand that you are not alone. Who’s willing to get a little vulnerable and answer the question…

What’s your secret?