Don’t call your girlfriend a muffin top…

Screen shot 2009-12-09 at Dec 9, 2009, 7.47.12 AMIf you follow me on twitter you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you don’t follow me on twitter then you’re dumb let me fill you in. Last night I was kickin’ it with the cutest girl I know, Girl Ninja. She was looking mighty fine so I thought I needed to pay her a little compliment. I put out my arms (hoping for a hug) and said “Come here, you cute little muffin top.” Whoa, hold the phone. What just came out of my mouth? Did I really just call my girlfriend a muffin top? I’m sure it is no surprise she was less than excited to hug me.*For those that don’t know, muffin top is often used as a way to describe a females love handles*

Looking back I have concluded there are two reasons I called her ‘muffin top’.

1) We went to Costco together on Sunday and I bought a dozen blueberry muffins (costco muffins are the bomb dot com!). I figure my brain had subconsciously formed a symbiotic relationship between my girlfriend and muffins.

2) The top of the muffin is the best part. Seriously, who doesn’t love a muffin’s top? What I must have meant is Girl Ninja is my favorite person in the world, much like the top of a muffin is the best food in the world.

One thing is darn sure. I was in no way implying Girl Ninja has a muffin top. She is in great shape and is seriously disciplined when it comes to eating healthy and exercising. Okay, now that I’ve clarified my stupidity, let’s move on to the purpose of today’s post…

Miscommunication can be deadly and a lack of communication can be even worse.

Wanna know just a few ways banks make the ridiculous profits they do? They intentionally miscommunicate things to you, the borrower. Here are two examples…

1) Bank XYZ offers you a 0% credit card offer. Sweet, can’t beat 0% right? Wrong, you better make sure you read all the fine print. Did you know your 0% offer is only good for a defined length of time, usually 3, 6, or 12 months? Did you know if you are late just one day on a payment, your account will be considered ‘in default’ and your 0% APR will now be 30%? Did you know some banks only offer you 0% interest on a predetermined amount of money, like the first $1,000 charged. Banks hope you will be enticed by the big number zero and they pray you don’t take the time to read the credit card contract to see what you are actually signing up for.

2) Bank of America and I had a huge miscommunication  a few weeks ago. I use to have my online savings account with Countrywide. I could deposit and withdraw money from the account at no cost to me. Earlier in the year, BoA acquired Countrywide and I became BoA’s newest customer. I had no issues with them until I went to make my first withdrawal from my savings. BoA was going to charge me $3 each time I withdrew money from my savings account. WTF? You are gonna charge me to access my own money? Apparently BoA had switched the countrywide policy and was including a $3 fee on all withdrawals. I definitely don’t remember that being communicated to me. I went down to the local BoA branch, took all my money out, and am now a proud customer of ING. I hate you Bank of America.

Here are a couple pictures in which harmless messages became rather hilarious, due to a little miscommunication…

epic-fail-banner-fail

epic-fail-g-spot-fail

See what a lack of communication can do? I don’t really think the first banner intended to say “Up yours” to the entire community and I definitely don’t think the kids club in the second picture was trying to educate little ninjas on the G-spot (whatever that is ;)). It’s imperative that you make sure you understand the coverage that comes with your renters/homeowners insurance, that you understand the terms and fees associated with your credit card, that you know the history behind the guy that manages your mutual fund.

I was a total unintentional douche to Girl Ninja last night. Has anyone else ever been a victim of miscommunication? Any bank ever tried to screw you? Ever signed up for something and were promised one thing, but ended up getting something completely different? Ever insulted someone, when you meant to give them a compliment? I learned a valuable lesson last night, hopefully my male readers wont make the same mistake I did with their significant others 🙂

18 thoughts on “Don’t call your girlfriend a muffin top…

    • Stop the madness, Costco sells just muffin tops? All these years, I've been leaving the bottoms in the box because they are well..disgusting. I need to go re-visit Costco to find out!

      Debt Ninja, I'm sorry about your miscommunication issues. Hopefully Girl Ninja handled you with her nunchuks and all is right with the world.

  1. Loves it! I've been known to put my foot in my mouth at times. Once, I told a very overweight retail clerk who offered to hold my previously purchased item (a floral wreath in a box, held horizontally), "It's not a cake!" I REALLY meant that it wasn't anything fragile and that he could hold it however he liked, but that really, really came out wrong.

  2. Funny.
    A week back, Jane made a mistake, looked at me and said "I'm such an idiot." Without pause, I said, "But you're my idiot and I will always love you." I survived that one…..

  3. I was also a countrywide savings customer -and now BoA savings customer. Your issue with withdrawals has got me wondering now if my account has that same issue. If so, the only time i'll have to pay that fee is when I'm withdrawing to transfer it to another account!

    • That was my exact situation. I didn't have a checking account with them, I guess if you have a checking then you can transfer from BoA savings to BoA checking for free. But to pull directly from BoA savings to a different bank account costs $3.

      I'm like you. I found out there was a fee and the next day went in to the local branch and got a cashiers check for $20K cause I pulled all my money out. I also spoke with the BoA branch manager and had him wave the cashiers check fee ($7) .

  4. Seeking some help on this credit card craziness lately. Just read on MSN that CC companies can just drop your credit card credit without telling you until later. Typically you want to keep your credit cards open so that you keep that credit history, but they want to make sure you are using it. So if it remains inactive they will drop you without notice. Anything we can do about this?

  5. I LOVE your analogies! They are too funny. I can't believe someone would call a kid's club G-spot! *geesh*

    Glad you got away from BofA. I hate BofA, too! Seriously.

    I didn't even know what muffin tops meant: coworker just told me it's when you wear your jeans too tight and the fat buldges over. LOL! I am with you… I think the best part of a muffin is the top! 😉

    Good luck saving Grace on that one with girl ninja! (BTW, what does she think of being labeled 'girl ninja'?)

  6. Lol thats pretty good. I mentioned muffin tops to my wife once a while back, she really doesnt get out much and had no idea what I was talking about. I had just learned the phrase myself but thought it was funny.

  7. hahah that's hilarious. Up yours hahaha man who thinks of these signs anyways??

    Yes, don't comment on the muffin tops! That's why all the jeans these days are low riders, less muffin toppage.

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