Banks are to blame for the rainforest woes.

I think I have discovered the exact scientific reason the longevity of the rainforest is being threatened. If my calculations are correct (which they are always are) then Chase, Bank of America, Wells Fargo, and every other big bank to roam the earth is directly responsible.

Don’t act like your confused. Go check your mailbox right now and tell me you don’t have 10 credit card offers, 5 bank statements, 3 new account offers, 2 random bank notices, and a freakin’ partridge in a pear tree. Seriously. I think the the big banks hate trees. The majority of my mail consists of grocery coupons and bank notices. WTF! It’s like I get excited now when there is an actual letter in my mailbox. I have come up with a couple remedies to try and ease the frustration of bank junk mail.

1) If you receive a bajillion credit card offers a week then your first plan of action needs to be this: Go to this website and opt-out of receiving them. It may take a couple months, but soon you will notice a HUGE decrease in the amount of credit card junk mail in your inbox. I did this about 6 months ago and couldn’t be happier. This will directly help the rainforest cause that is one less piece of mail being sent out.

2) Get a shredder. Although this won’t directly help the rainforest. It will protect you from identity theft and compact your massive amount of junkmail. Quickly sort through your mail, decide what is important and what isn’t. Throw the unimportant things in the shredder and walk away. Doesn’t get much easier than that.

3) The last solution I have to completely ridding your mail box of any and all junkmail is this: Wait by your mailbox and tell the mail person you will punch them in the face if they ever put junkmail in your box again. While I have never tried this, I’m pretty sure it would be effective. I know if I was that mail person I sure as heck wouldn’t want to mess with you.

Are your mailbox woes similar to mine? Do you ever get irritated by the “sign up for our online savings account” or “transfer your credit card balance here” offers. Part of Obama’s “green” plan should include a clause that only allows banks to send out a few pieces of junk mail per year. Or at least they should be required to plant one tree in the amazon for every piece of mail they sent out. Are ya with me tree huggers?!