Today’s guest post comes from, Maria Rainier. She is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She is currently a resident blogger at First in Education, where recently she’s been researching different music degree programs and blogging about student life. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.
See? I tried to be P.C. (no pun intended) by saying “fankids” instead of “fanboys,” since not all Mac users are male, nor are they female—there’s such a sex as intersex, too. See, I am progressive, but I still want to punch Mac lovers in the face.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate a nice Mac, even if I do have a vendetta against a certain $1499 iMac that’s sitting in a corner of the press office at my alma mater, probably losing data, not transferring files, and shutting down without provocation, or alternatively not shutting down at all until I rip the cord out of the wall, but I don’t want to do that because Steve Jobs might jump out of the spinning ball of death and spit on me and then make my Mac never turn on again—but wait, it won’t turn on again, anyway, and the stupid LED light is still on and it’s a terrible, terrible liar because it’s telling me with its blinding light that the computer is on and functioning (Ninja’s comments: Holy guacamole, that has to be the longest run-on sentence EVER!). Why would you lie to me, Mac? I wouldn’t lie to you. I told you from the very beginning that it wasn’t meant to be.
This is why I have a PC. Not that I’m in denial that PCs don’t work where Macs do. My PC shuts down when it gets too hot, gets infected even when I don’t click on ads or risqué sites, and slows down whenever I try running Photoshop with iTunes or really iTunes with anything else, and its screen isn’t as pretty as the Mac screens of the hipster-type emo kids who are still on their parents’ dime and complain about how Japan won’t stop killing dolphins while they eat a tuna sandwich and click/type away at roadside cafes—outdoors, of course, otherwise nobody would see them being hipster and emo and Mack-ie (Ninja’s comments: Second longest run-on sentence ever?).
And then these kids try to tell you that Macs are awesome. Their arguments usually consist of the following:
1. They never crash, freeze, or get slimy viruses.
2. They look cooler (duh).
3. They’re innovative and so am I, because I like indie music and click “Causes” on Facebook every day and walk around in skinny jeans with my hands in my pockets even though there’s decidedly no room left in said skinny jeans for hands or any other appendages (burn).
They mention nothing of operating speed, hardware or software options (or lack, thereof), or Steve Jobs’ stint at NeXT and open-source Linux. When you mention any of these things, their eyes glaze over and all they can do is show you their awesome music collection on iTunes and say PCs are for fundamentalists who don’t want to change their ways and try yoga and only care about Wall Street and don’t care about the little guy. Because Steve Jobs isn’t a millionaire or anything.
Mac fankids don’t understand that Apple is basically trying to rebuild the wheel that Microsoft made like twenty years ago. They consider right-click and the ergonomic mouse “innovation” when everyone knows that right-click has been around LITERALLY for decades, and anyone who’s tried one of those ergonomic things knows that Apple owes them several hundred dollars in chiropractic fees. Righteously flouting mainstream industry trends like the HDMI port (which for Macs are a novelty) and pursuing a completely non-intuitive Dock that doesn’t actually close any programs or allow you to drag files to new destinations without having both source and destination files open, I suppose, appeals to scene kids and wannabe nerds who want to write for CNET while editing together their indie-but-still-blockbuster psychological thriller film.
They are unable to back up their three-point argument (see above) with anything factual and cannot refute my opinion that a Mac is like a good date gone bad: the guy (or girl, or intersex, whatever) looks great, dresses nice, has beautiful eyes, has a great laugh, and then he/she/it disappears into the bathroom for twenty minutes and loses his/her/its utensils and very conveniently his/her/its wallet after spilling the soup all over me.
My point is this: I don’t care if you like Macs or PCs as long as you can back up your opinion. Macs and PCs work different ways with basically the same OS and therefore appeal to different users with different needs. That’s fine.
Maybe I’ve got it all wrong? Maybe I just want to punch scene kids in the face?
Ninja’s comments: Maria’s treading on thin ice here, considering both Girl Ninja and I have Macbooks, I have the iPhone, and we both have like 87 iPods between the two of us. I am probably an Apple Fanboy for life. But, I’ll be honest. I don’t really know much about the technical stuff Maria wrote about. Macs probably are more limited in what they can do, when compared to a P.C., but that’s exactly why I like them: They are simple! So what’s it gonna be debt punchers: Mac, PC, or Indifferent????