Comments on: The proverbial umbilical cord

By: Kim

Kim — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 01:14:34 +0000

Honestly, who turns down free money?! My situation is same-same, to include that crazy woman Sallie – received serious money as a graduation present. I don’t ask for it. That’s not so much a cord; a cord is when you spend b/c you know the money is coming. The real umbilical cord is when someone gets help with consumer debt – i.e. stacks of money spent on iPods & bar tabs, and not paying more than the minimum.

By: JimJuber

JimJuber — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 20:13:58 +0000

As my mother told me, I had to accept the gift from her, otherwise, I would be "Blessing Blocking".
So, accept the gifts from your parents and be thankful to have parents like that.

By: Moon Hussain

Moon Hussain — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 17:33:09 +0000

Ninja,

My mom does this weird thing. She gives me money every time she visits me or vice versa. It makes me feel bad, like I'm taking advantage or something of her love, but I have tried refusing. To which she takes serious offense.

So now I shutup and take it. Mom's rule. That's just how it is. When I make it big, I will do awesome things for my parents

By: Sandy L

Sandy L — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 08:56:24 +0000

My family has always been the giving type. My mom gave me a few lump sumps for cars, student loans, etc, over the years, but now we pay for many of the expenses her $700/month SS check does not cover. It's always been "our money" not her money and my money. Her efforts enabled me to get a good paying job, so it's now my turn to reciprocate.

Incidentally, I also know families who's kid's believe, "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine" so it just really depends on one's sense of entitlement to the parent's dough.

By: Abigail

Abigail — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 07:04:25 +0000

I wish things could be a little different, but I'm definitely still financially attached to my mom. Less so now than when we lived in the same state but…

She'd sneak me some extra funds in school and, when I was a landlord trying to make ends meet, she'd help out from time to time. But around the time she moved to Seattle, I had to declare disability. (I sold the house and paid off my student loans with the proceeds.) And she had to support me for almost two years. I got $300 from the state of Washington each month. So I couldn't cover my own rent, and she and I quickly decided living in the same apartment wasn't healthy. (So we split the difference and got cheap apartments in the same building. Which didn't help the dependence but by then I needed all the help I could get.)

When I was suicidal, she drained her bank account getting me therapy since I was uninsured.

When Tim came into the picture, things got a little easier since he was working. But she still loaned us some money to help us consolidate debt after Tim's $8,000 of oral surgery bills. (She later forgave the loan as a wedding present.)

And she would slip us a $20 or something every so often to go treat ourselves. Okay, she still does that by mail sometimes.

If things continue to go the way they have been the past month or so, we should be able to get free and clear soon and we can pay her back the couple of thousand we still owe. And hopefully we'll never need her generosity again — although I agree that it's great to know it's there.

You're not spoiled for letting your parents indulge you once in awhile. It makes them happy, and you're not doing it excessively/taking advantage. So don't let people make you feel weird about it.