Comments on: I suck at accepting gifts

By: Your parents don’t owe you a wedding

Your parents don’t owe you a wedding — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 21:27:18 +0000

[...] over at Punch Debt in the Face is feeling a little weird about his fiancee’s family offering up a large amount toward the wedding. Personally, I think [...]

By: SS4BC

SS4BC — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 19:37:08 +0000

That's great that her parents have been saving up money for the wedding. =)

I'm sure it is going to be absolutely beautiful.

By: youngandthrifty

youngandthrifty — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:26:04 +0000

I'm terrible at receiving gifts! Especially from people whom I feel guilty receiving gifts from (e.g. if I wasn't "gifting" back in return). Usually I say something like "no no, keep it, I can't accept this". And end up looking like an ungrateful turd. For some reason, I try a few times to say "no, it's okay" and then finally accept it in defeat. Then the defeat turns into gratefulness- and confusion from the other party trying to read my expression to see if I was actually grateful or not, or if I am just acting.

By: Abigail

Abigail — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 22:22:06 +0000

I am always confounded and tickled that my husband has no problem accepting generous gifts from people. He has this revolutionary idea that if they are willing to give it, we should be willing to accept it. And he's not about to turn down free stuff!

Okay, that last part is horribly opportunistic, but I think he's on to something otherwise. Clearly, her parents want to help. It's awesome that they can. My mom helped out financially in a few ways. When I had found a dress and was hesitating ($500 for a dress I'll wear once? Eep!) she said she wanted to give me half the cost. And, as a wedding present, she told us to completely forget about the money we owed her. It had been a loan to help us consolidate our credit card debt, so we're not talking about $200 here…

It's hard to accept this sort of thing, but try anyway. Clearly, it will make them happy to give you the money. And it will make you happy to have the money. So the only hurdle is in receiving the funds. It's a pretty small blip, when you come right down to it.

Think about it this way: You could always sign something promising to pay them back in case of a divorce! Ok, not really, but how much harder do you think couples would try if that were the case?

By: @leif_nabil

@leif_nabil — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 19:49:12 +0000

I appreciate the grace and honesty of you and Bride Ninja's response.

No, you're not a douche. You, just like every other person, respond to things based on the circumstance and your thoughts which are based on your previous experiences.