Comments on: Would you do it?

By: Oliver Darraugh

Oliver Darraugh — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 14:54:45 +0000

A debt management plan is one option for breaking free of unsecured debts. You would work with a third party who would get in touch with your creditors and work out a plan for you to pay back the money you owed over a period of time, usually with reduced payments. Once you have gone into the deal creditors will not be on your back for payments and if you stick with the plan you will have become debt free once the term of the plan has been reached.

By: negative_net_worth

negative_net_worth — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 13:29:31 +0000

I think that it's fine! Even though I usually pay for myself, my mom often will pay more than her fair share of a restaurant check or something like that, especially lately because she knows I've had some big expenses in recent months. It makes my mom happy to be able to help out her kids, as I'm sure it makes MomNinja happy to help you! Nothing wrong with the arrangement!

Now, as another commenter said above, if the "gift" comes with a whole bunch of strings attached, it's not really generosity and it's more like buying control – I think that's when a lot of bloggers say it's a bad idea, or if it was detrimental to your parents' financial situation.

By: elleandish

elleandish — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 02:09:25 +0000

As long as you show your parents love and show thanks in return there's absolutely no problem with it. (but only if they have extra funds put away for themselves)

Also, I'd rather not send my parents to a retirement home. I know they would be hurt if I did (as if I'm tossing them out of my life), and in my culture it doesn't happen very often.

So I think of it this way: they take care of you when you're growing up, you take care of them when they're growing old. Nobody owes anybody anything. If you really love your family (and it doesn't cut into living expenses) then I don't see why not.

By: Angelica

Angelica — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 19:05:36 +0000

MomNinja is awesome She seems calm, possessor of good sense of humor and everything.

My mom is somewhat different. She's very nervous, she's very preoccupied about me. This is why I always tell her I'm fine. I always tell her I don't need money, even if I do. She doesn't belive. And this is not (only) mother heart talking, that's luck of trust. When I'm okay she doesn't believe me either, she always thinks I'm in trouble.

There's another reason why I try not to receive help from her: she's eager to use it to manipulate me, i.e. say some time later: "I had to give you money, because you can't be independent, you have to rely on me".

Sometimes I do accept help from her, though. For example, some months ago when I was visiting my hometown I let her pay some of my expenses and give me some money. Why? Because five years have passed since I moved, because she's really worried, because she's changed her ways a bit, because she treats me more like an adult now, because she needs to know I'm fine. I really didn't like to accept money from her, but I did, to give her the feeling that I was secure, safe and sound, that she was needed, that she was strong and could help her daughter.

By: RB

RB — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:24:03 +0000

First off, I've been reading your blog for awhile but this is my first post. You are totally awesome. I love the graphics, colors and content on your site.

I think if parents can help out financially, then why not? They're not doing it forever and it was an agreement that you and your parents had. I can't think of many who turn down the opportunity to have their student loan debt reduced. Mama Ninja seems pretty cool.