10 random questions.

So I moved in yesterday. It was a biotch. The elevators to my complex were shut down due to some epoxy spraying on the ground level. This means I made about Eleventy-billion trips up and down six flights of stairs to get my ‘ish moved in. My back is sore, my legs are tired, I’m hungry, I need a bottle, and I want someone to come put me down for a nap.

Needless to say, I don’t have the energy to blog right now, so instead I searched the internetz for 10 random questions. Here’s what I found…

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives arace car not called a racist?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a ‘broker’?

Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

Why are the obituaries found in the “living” section of the newspaper?

Are one handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?

How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks
so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

What if you’re in hell, and you’re mad at someone, where do you tell them to
go?

Pretty tricky questions huh? Have any clever responses to any of them? Or have any other questions we should ponder during our 4th of July weekend? Drop ’em in the comments below!

HAPPY ALMOST INDEPENDENCE DAY. USA, USA, USA!!!!!!!!!

13 thoughts on “10 random questions.

  1. Ha ha – enjoyed your summary of Moving Day fun and torture. And just think, you’ll be moving even more stuff in very soon. It makes me treasure my (not moving anytime soon) middle age life even more.

    You posed some very thought-provoking questions – can’t say I have any answers for them. My advice is that, sometimes, it’s best to let the mystery be.

    But I did see this headline somewhere on a website that might answer the last question:

    “Welcome to Hell – here’s your vuvuzela!”

  2. I’ve got your answers, and since I ruined most of them, another question.

    Pianist – because the profession is to drive the car, not race. So they are drivers.

    Broker – Intermediary between you and a finance company

    Bald men – personal preference, when my hair is cut short I use both

    Bald DL – their natural hair color, which can be verified by a prejudiced TSA agent

    Obits – Honors who they were when they were living

    One hand – I’ve wondered how they are cuffed, but they would be told to keep their arms in the air

    Sweet and sour – Because we have more than one taste bud

    Chinese Chopsticks – wouldn’t need a smaller size, just smaller portion. But, chopsticks do some in all sizes.

    FedEx/UPS? – UPSex

    Hell – I thought that’s where f***off came from

    Did Noah have termites on the ark? Woodpeckers?

  3. I can answer the chopsticks question. They just use normal, adult-sized utensils. When the baby eats soft foods, like applesauce, they use spoons.

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